Page 158 of Riding the Sugar High

“You mean it?”

“Sure.” He opens the cage, holding Paco back with one hand while he hands me Lola with the other. I remember the first time he did that, precisely sixteen days ago. When I was hurt and heartbroken, and Logan was nothing to me but a dude who’d kissed me and then acted stupidly rude.

Lola’s soft, warm body fits perfectly in the curve of my arms, her weight a comforting presence I've missed more than words can express. I press my cheek against her velvety fur, inhaling the familiar scent of hay and sunshine that clings to her coat. “Have you been good to Uncle Kyle? Did he feed you stuff you’re not supposed to eat?”

I turn to Logan with a smile, but it quickly falls as I notice he’s not holding Paco, and the tiny piglet is trotting in the direction of the closest tree. Sure, he’s not exactly a jaguar, and even if he were to run, we should be able to catch up, but if he plans on taking the piglets out for strolls, maybe leashes are in order.

“Don’t let him get too far,” I tell Logan as I watch Paco push his snout on a big, flat mushroom.

“Barbie.”

Logan’s firm voice makes my stomach drop. His eyes are softly studying my face, a sad smile bending his lips as if there’s something obvious I’m not quite grasping. What the hell is happening?

I glance at Paco, then back to Logan. “Are we not...taking them on a walk?”

“No.”

My arms tighten around Lola, who squelches until I relent.

He wants to leave them here. He wants to leave them behind.

“N-no!” I step back, shaking my head hard. “Why? Why would we abandon them?”

“We’re not abandoning them, Barbie.” Logan steps closer, his hand clasping my shoulder to steady me. “They’re meant to be here. To be free. The plan was never to keep them at the farm forever.”

“But...but all the animals who stay permanently at the farm?—”

“They’re hurt, have been through something traumatic, or have been domesticated to the point where they wouldn’t survive in the wild.” He rubs behind Lola’s ears. But these two—they’re young, healthy. They have a chance to adapt if we let them go now, so that they can grow and develop like they were always meant to be.”

Lola lets out another screech, and once I look down at her, I notice that my tears are staining her coat. “Sorry,” I whisper as I wipe them away with one hand. Though I’ve picked her up plenty before today, I’m suddenly realizing how much heavier she’s gotten over the last sixteen days. How much bigger too.

But Logan must be wrong, right? They’re only four weeks old—how can they survive in the wild?

“Waiting more time would only be detrimental.” He pinches my chin. “Sometimes, you have to let someone go for their own good, backpack. You need to trust that somehow, at some point, they’ll come back. You have to believe in them the same way they’ve believed in you.”

He’s clearly not talking about the pigs anymore, and this is starting to feel like a goodbye in more than one way. Did he change his mind about us? About me staying?

Throwing one more glance at Paco, now rubbing his side against a large trunk, I sniffle. Though he’s the most sensitive of the two, with how easily he startles and the amount of cuddles he demands, the thought of letting Lola go is even harder. She’s been my shadow over the last couple of weeks. She’s the one Logan handed me that first night, and I like to think that going through that together brought us closer. She’s slept on my shirts, eaten my candy, and followed me around the house every day.

But if it’s for her own good, I suppose I should let her go.

I kneel, running my fingers through her soft, pink fur one last time. “You're going to be okay,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “You'll be happier here, I promise. Just keep an eye on your brother. You know how boys are.”

Her black eyes meet mine and stare in the same focused way they always do.

“And we’ll be back to check on you. So if you feel homesick or decide this whole wildlife thing isn’t for you...you follow us to the car, okay? We’ll bring you back home.”

She doesn’t understand a thing I’m saying, yet I feel like I should tell her so much more. “Don’t eat weird berries, and avoid anything with sharp teeth.”

When she wiggles in my hands, I set her on the ground and watch as she takes tentative steps forward, her trotters sinking into the soft earth with each stride. She pauses as if sensing the gravity of the moment before following Paco and disappearing into the dense undergrowth of the forest.

Logan joins my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, and we watch her until she's nothing more than a faint speck in the distance. Until I can no longer hear the rustle of her footsteps or the echo of her oinks in the breeze.

Then, Logan presses his lips on the spot over my ear over and over again, whispering a soft ‘shh.’ “You did amazing, Barbie. This isn’t a sad moment, okay? It’s a happy one. They’ll do great things, and so will you.”

There it is again. What is he talking about?

My brows tighten over my eyes as he reaches behind him and holds out something. He’s acting oddly mysterious, and a veil of sadness covers his eyes, making my heart pound as I reach for the small paper.

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