“If you’d let me finish,” I tease. “I had a Japanese roommate. His mom used to work in a...” I pause, searching for the name of the place, something he used to rave about. “Akonbiniin Tokyo, where apparently you can get the most amazing sushi for next to nothing. He taught me.”
Charlotte hums, considering. “The best sushi I ever had was in this tiny, hole-in-the-wall place in Shinsekai.”
I look up. “You’ve been to Japan?”
“I’ve been everywhere.”
Of course she has. Modeling must take her all over the world.
A small pang of something twists in my chest—envy, maybe. Longing. I haven’t traveled much since Sadie. And she must sense it because she says, “I haven’t seen much of anywhere though. It wasn’tfun-traveling.”
“Sorry.”
She shrugs. “But I’ve eaten enough Michelin-star meals to tell you that your mentor is right. You’re talented. Talented like people who’ve been doing it for decades.”
I grin, cheeks heating. “Thank you.”
“Where would you go if you could choose?” she asks. “If you could travel anywhere in the world?”
The question makes me pause. The last few years haven’t been much about my wants, but more about my responsibilities.I glance up, meeting her gaze. “Shinsekai, maybe,” I say. “Try this sushi you love.”
Her head sinks into the back of the couch, her loose waves fanning out against the cushions. That same knowing smile lingers on her lips.Lazy. Amused. Dangerous.
“Am I invited?”
I scoff, wiping my hands on a kitchen towel. “How else am I gonna find it?”
She giggles, light and airy. “When I was younger, I used to play a game I called ‘Where would I be?’ I would imagine a scenario where everything was different and picture where I’d be. Like, if my father hadn’t left, or if I’d never gone to that first audition, or...you get it.”
The thought of a younger Charlotte sitting in a Paris hotel room dreaming of being anywhere else makes my heart clench. “Really?”
“Yeah. Sometimes, I’d picture a small town somewhere by the beach. You know, one of those places where people don’t bother putting actual clothes on. Just shorts and their bikini tops. And Small Town Charlotte would do something...I don’t know, low-key. Like work at the local market, or sell flowers.”
The thought is utterly ridiculous. She would die of boredom on her second day.
“I’d crochet, maybe. Have a Pinterest board for healthy recipes and cute home DIYs.”
My lips bend in a sad smile. I don’t like this version of herself she’s describing, because it doesn’t sound anything like her, but I get it. This isn’t just a whimsical fantasy, but a very real urge to escape. A wish for a life where she isn’t picked apart, where she belongs to herself.
Why doesn’t she do it? Why does she let Beatrice run the show like this?
I dry my hands on a towel, then toss it onto the counter. “You wouldn’t last a week.”
Her eyes gleam with challenge. “Oh?”
I grab a plate from the cabinet. “You’d get restless.” I set it on the counter. “You’d start charming tourists for sport.” Setting the sushi on the plate, I insist, “You’d get banned from the market for making inappropriate comments to half the town just to see them blush.”
She stays quiet, watching me, waiting.
“How about this game instead?” I ask. “Where would you be if you were a strong, beautiful young woman with the potential to achieve anything you wanted?” I walk to the table and set the sushi down, then spin to face her. “Because that’s exactly what you are, and that’s exactly where you should be.”
She stands and approaches me. Once there’s only her chair between us, she looks up at me. “Kinda like how if nothing held you back, you’d be inside me right now?”
She’s deflecting,again. She keeps doing it, keeps hiding behind her sexuality like she doesn’t want anyone to see there’s more to her than that. Maybe she doesn’t want to see it herself.
“You know, for most of my life, I worked in accounting. I put on a suit every day, and more than that, amask. When my marriage crumbled, I realized I was pretending to be happy in more ways than one, and I knew I had to stop and face my feelings, no matter how inconvenient.”
Her smile turns into a thoughtful frown.