Page 48 of Every Hidden Truth

“I’m not making this better, am I?”

Shaking my head, I laughed, and it felt good after such heaviness. Ben joined me, and we laughed until I was crying for a completely different reason than I had been before.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to offer to bottom, but—ow!” I rubbed my ear where he’d flicked me.

“Shut up, that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I remember you clearly saying that you would be into it.”

Blushing, Ben ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, okay. You got me there. So maybe I would be into it.”

I hummed and leaned in, kissing his hot cheek. “Well, like I said earlier, not everyone’s into butt stuff. But if you want to try, I’m good with that.”

“Yeah? Even if I have no idea what I’m doing?”

With a chuckle, I kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Even then. Besides, we don’t play by heterosexual rules. So if you don’t like ass play, who cares? Baby, there is much more to gay sex than that.”

Instead of huffing in embarrassment, he smiled at me. “Did you just call mebaby?”

“Uh, yes?” For some reason, it made me flush. “Do you not like it?”

“It’s cutesy,” he said.

“And you do like cutesy stuff.”

“I do.”

I kissed him again, and the tension in the air eased, like the walls could finally exhale.

When we parted, our foreheads met, and I said, “Thank you for staying.”

And Ben scoffed, shaking his head with an exasperated smile on his face. “Oh, Silas. Where else am I gonna go?”

14

Lake of Eternal Fire

Four days later, Ifinished my final exam for the day and stared at the clock as it neared eleven fifty-seven. Since it was the last day of the semester, we were released early after our morning classes. Student government would stay behind to decorate for the winter dance tonight and sports teams would still practice. Other extracurricular activities were canceled until next month.

I’d never been more ready for winter break. This week had been a shitstorm, and the end could not come quickly enough.

Tuesday morning, I’d arrived at school to find my birthday locker in ruins. Streamers littered the ground in tattered pieces and popped balloons hung limp and lifeless from my locker door. The birthday message had been rearranged into offensive slurs.

Heartbroken, I’d cleaned up the mess while exuding artificial apathy over the vandalism. Ben was furious when he arrived atmy locker as I dropped the last streamer into the trash bin, but I’d calmed him down before he’d lost his cool completely.

The destruction of my birthday locker was simply the icing on the cake of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

Thanks to my panic attack Monday night, Ben had instigated distance between us. Literally.

I’d stopped by his house after work Wednesday night, and though we made out on his couch, making out was all we did. Clothes stayed on. Hands remained above the waist. Even when I made it very clear that I wanted to go further, he simply kissed me on the forehead and said, “Not tonight.”

Which, okay, I would never push him for anything more. But it didn’t feel like it was his choice; it felt like he was doing it for my benefit. He was handling me with kid gloves, and it pissed me off.

It was the first official fight we’d had since getting together.

“You’re treating me like a child,” I said as Ben leaned against the pool table, arms crossed over his chest.

“I am not. I’m simply taking precautions so you don’t suffer. How am I the bad guy, right now?”

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