Page 7 of Every Hidden Truth

Hiding my fidgeting hands in my pockets, I chewed my bottom lip as I awaited his answer. It was a simple question, yet we both understood the unspoken current of importance buzzing between us.

Ben nodded as the ocean in his eyes crashed and swirled like a maelstrom. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay,” I squeaked, clearing my throat to muster a more manly, “Cool.”

“I’ll meet you at yours?” We walked around the nose of my truck as I agreed, and my breath hitched when his thumb grazed along my palm. “See you soon, Silas.”

A dark promise hid beneath the innocence of his words, and I shivered as his breath ghosted over my chilled cheek.

As I climbed into my truck, I peered out of the corner of my eye as Ben lowered himself into his car, and nausea bubbled in my gut. Things were about to be decided, and I feared there’d be no going back.

Our relationship balanced on a precipice, one nudge away from toppling over. Both directions were equally terrifying, but I knew things couldn’t remain the way they were now. One way or another, we had to fall this time.

3

A Certain Beauty to Brokenness

As I pulled intomy driveway, I checked my rear-view mirror and watched Ben park his Impala across the street, his lights blinking out. My dad’s SUV was in the garage, and the lights from the living room glowed through the shut blinds, casting stripes of light across the icy driveway.

Crap, I hadn’t thought about Dad. Not that I didn’t want Ben and my dad meeting, but it would only bring up uncomfortable questions I didn’t know the answers to. And while Dad had never treated me badly for being gay, he hadn’t voiced his support either. It was simply another thing we didn’t talk about.

Inviting Ben inside would only complicate things.

When knuckles rapped on my window, I jumped out of my skin, releasing an embarrassing yelp. Ben’s laugh was muffled, but I heard it.

Glaring at him, I shoved open my door and climbed out of my truck. The cold was sharp, burrowing past Ben’s California hoodie I wore and settling in my bones. I rubbed at my arms,wishing my winter coat wasn’t stuffed in my duffel bag, soaked and useless.

“Cold?” Ben reached for me, and I stuttered out a denial as he grabbed my arms and guided me closer. “I might have an extra coat in my trunk.”

As he rubbed my arms to warm me, I couldn’t think of a single word to say, so I settled for a nonsensical grunt. His eyes twinkled as they dragged down my body, settling on the California logo splayed across my chest.

“You look good in my hoodie,” he said as snow drifted lazily around us.

My neck heated. “You shouldn’t be so nice to me.”

“You want me to be mean to you?” he asked around a confused chuckle. “That seems like something you should discuss with a therapist.”

“There’s probably a lot I should discuss with a therapist,” I muttered, and his amused expression sobered.

“Then do it. Therapy’s a good thing.”

Uncomfortable with the topic, I studied the snowflakes collecting on the top of my boots. “You say that like you know from experience.”

“I do,” he admitted, entirely unashamed. “I’ve been seeing a therapist since my mom... died.”

I peeked up at him. “Really?”

He shrugged, smiling sadly. “It messed me up for a while, and I got into a bit of trouble. Therapy helped. Still does.”

“Oh,” I said because I didn’t know what else I should have said.

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he squeezed my arms. “Anyway, what do you mean I should be mean to you?”

To be honest, I wasn’t even sure myself. All I knew was that I could live my whole life trying to be good enough for him, but I’d never accomplish it. We weren’t even dating, yet I still didn’t deserve him. Even as a friend, he was out of my league.

“You’re just a really good person, and I’m... not,” I finished stupidly.

At that, he frowned. “I’m not good. No one ever is. We’re just us, just human. We are who we are, and we try to be better. And if we’re lucky, we find people who help us.” His hand slid up my arm, to my neck, and further to my jaw where his thumb grazed over the corner of my mouth. “I like to think you make me better.”

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