Page 73 of Princess of Death

His stare was still on my face. I could feel it like the touch of his hand.

My mother continued to speak to Hawk, the two of them oblivious to this silent standoff between my father and me.

When I refused to meet his look, he tried to break through my defenses differently. “How are you,Zunieth?”

I carried a grief that I’d never expected to hold. In my mind, my hands started to slip through the tears that I imagined dripping to my fingers. My time with Viper had been passionate and fun, but I’d been able to walk away from him with only a pinch of sadness. But fearing that I would never see Wrath again…felt like a winter storm that would never abate. “I’m well. What about you?”

He cocked his eyebrow slightly, probably because he’d never heard me respond so formally. “I’ve been in conversation with our allies. No one knows anything about the ships you described.”

The Barbarians. “Then perhaps they were just passing through.”

“Hopefully.” He took a drink of his wine then sat back in the chair when the main course was served. A piece of white fish in a cream sauce with sauteed spinach and potatoes. He didn’t seem interested in the food, meeting my gaze across the table like he wanted to say more but didn’t want to pursue a line of questioning in front of my brother. He eventually grabbed his fork and ate the dinner that the servants provided.

We all fell into silence, like we all had different matters on our minds.

I walked through the courtyard and headed to my villa, my stomach full but my heart empty.

Would Wrath never come to me again?

Was it just…over?

“Zunieth.”

I halted when I heard my father’s voice behind me. The sky was dark and covered in brilliant stars, a fluff of clouds here and there. The moonlight was so bright we didn’t even need the torches or the braziers. The gnawing of guilt in my stomach doubled when I knew I was about to face him in the very place where I’d discovered his past.

I turned to face him. “Did you need something?” Acting normal when I felt anything but was a lot harder than I thought it would be. My voice didn’t sound the same. It was slightly higher than it usually was. I noticed it, but did he notice it?

My father came before me, dressed in casual attire in his trousers and long-sleeved shirt but still looking as kingly as he had in his armor when he’d defeated his adversaries while surrounded by his army of the dead, surrounded by my ancestors who’d taken up arms once more. His dark eyes shifted back and forth between mine as he analyzed me. “The flow of your river has changed direction, and I don’t know why. What troubles you?”

“Nothing—”

“Your mother does the same thing,” he said gently. “And you look so much like her that I can read you like words on a page. Did something happen between you and your brother?”

He would never guess the source of my unease. It was impossible to do so. “No. Hawk and I talked it out. He said he supports my rulership with his heart and his sword.”

“Then what troubles you?”

I should be relieved that the God of the Underworld had left my presence forever, but I was devastated. And that was what was wrong. When had I become so attached? When had this clandestine affair become so deep? “Nothing.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “What have I done to make you drop me as a confidant? You know you can always come to me. What has changed to make you doubt that now?”

My heart had been shattered into pieces with Wrath’s departure. But it had also been shattered when I’d watched my father grieve in battle, raise his sword and strike down his enemy while he shed tears of unbridled agony. I knew his family had been burned at the stake, and to know the woman he’d loved before my mother had burned…and so had his daughter, was just too much. Now I understood why he loved me and treasured me so deeply. Why my middle name was Lena. Why he’d wanted a daughter instead of a son. If only I could tell Hawk this, he would understand my father’s favoritism—but I could never explain how I knew. “I’m sorry I sailed away on that journey.” Tears burned in the backs of my eyes, and I tried so hard to fight them, to sheathe the pain I carried for my father. Perhaps this was why he didn’t want me to know.

The hardness in his eyes and face suddenly softened when he heard the sincerity of my words. He turned rigid, frozen in place by the agonized words I spoke.

“I’m sorry that I put you through that.” I never would have gone if I’d known what he’d suffered. If I’d understood the pain and terror it would cause him. If I’d known he’d already lost a daughter once.

His softness waned as he studied me, desperately trying to understand the source of my words. “Why do you say this, Lily?”

“All I thought about was myself. Not you and Mom.”

“Zunieth, it’s not your job to worry about me and your mother.”

“Even so…I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.”

He continued to stare at me, his eyes a mixture of confusion and emotion, but he didn’t press me with questions to understand where this began. “You can’t be proud of who you are without acknowledging the suffering it took to make you. It was a difficult time for your mother and me, but it taught me to have faith in the daughter I raised, to believe that she would prevail without my protection. The same journey taught you resilience and strength, showed you have what it takes to survive, that you will succeed as queen once that day comes. It was difficult for both of us, but it’s also made us better.” His hand went to my arm. “Don’t carry my suffering as your burden. It’s my job to worry incessantly and deeply for your well-being every single day that I draw breath—and I consider it a blessing to do so.”

I sniffed to steady the tears, but that made them squeeze from my eyes.

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