Page 10 of Reconciling the Consequences

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him run his hand over his messy blond hair. “Look,” he started, “this isn’t going to work if you can’t tell me what you need.”

“I don’tneedanything,” she snapped at him. “I just wanted a shower.” She shook her head. “I can wait till tomorrow for Kevin or Derrick to get back.”

“They won’t be back tomorrow or Monday. You’re stuck with me,” Johnny admitted.

She opened her mouth to reply but was at a loss for words.Why they said anything to me? They left me here with him?It was bad enough that she had trust issues with them, now shereallywasgoing to have trust issues.

Was communication reallythat fucking hardfor these guys?

She felt tears welling in her eyes and tried to blink them back, but they fell before she could stop them. She leaned her shoulder against the wall at the foot of the bed as she tried to stifle a sob.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

She jumped slightly when his hand landed on her shoulder. She hadn’t heard him move, but there he was, with her at the end of the bed, pulling her into his arms.

She let him. Despite everything he said that night at the clubhouse, she still loved him. Despite his grumpy attitude, he still cared about her. He still cared enough to pull her out of a burning building and give up his bedroom, or at least share it. Whatever it was that he was doing.

He guided her a few feet over to the foot of the bed. He took a seat and pulled her onto his lap. She was perched on one of his legs while hers dangled between his spread thighs. It was moments like these when their size difference usually turned her on. She loved how much bigger he was compared to her.

All of her guys were bigger than her, but he was the biggest, and he usually made her feel safe. She perched awkwardly on his thigh, unable to really relax against him. She no longer trusted him, and it broke her heart.

She ducked her head under his chin; she didn’t want to look at him. The room was dark, and his face was hard to read. She didn’t want him to see her so weak, so vulnerable.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she froze, her breath caught in her throat. “I’m sorry that I called you a whore. That I was such a fucking asshole that night. I’m sorry that I made you feel that you didn’t mean anything to us… to me,” he added.

She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to do this with him right now—she wasn’t strong enough. A sob tore out of her, and her ribs ached, but she couldn’t stop. The sobs racked her body, and her breathing grew ragged.

Johnny held her tight against him and let her get it out. He pressed kisses into her hair and forehead every so often but kept quiet.

She curled up in his lap, bringing both knees over his thighs. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. She sobbed against him until she felt herself grow tired. As her tears slowed and dried up, she let herself drift off against him.

Thefollowingmorningshewoke up alone. She tried to feel the sheets and see how long Johnny had been gone, but the cast didn’t really allow for much feeling. She groaned.

She was sore; she’d missed her evening pills. Missed dinner too, by the sound of her stomach. She slowly got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She used the toilet and cleaned up a bit, brushed her teeth and hair. She refused to look at the shower, despairing of ever getting clean.

She smelled food cooking, so she headed for the door. She hadn’t left the room since she’d been brought there. She had no idea where the kitchen was, but she intended to find out.

She opened the door and paused. The house was not what she was expecting. It was one of those two-story houses with a vaulted ceiling and open hallway overlooking the massive living area below. The bedrooms were all along the one side of the house.

Johnny had the master suite with the double-door entrance. There were at least five or six doors on the right of the hall as she headed toward the stairs. The hallway went far past the stairs that looked to be in the center of the house. She wasn’t feeling very adventurous, though, and headed for the stairs.

She only paused briefly to think about her knee before she made sure she had a good grip on the railing with her left hand and slowly made her way down the stairs. Her stitches pulled slightly, so she had to adjust her grip as she hobbled down the stairs.

The great room she walked into was massive. The vaulted ceiling had stained wooden beams bracing it, a huge wall of windows that looked out to the park-like backyard, and French doors that led out to a huge back patio that surrounded an in-ground pool.

She continued through the living area and took in the plush leather sofas and recliners. The huge TV mounted high above the fireplace was a focal point in the room, which was done in shades of black and brown with forest green accents throughout. It was beautiful and manly but elegant. She instantly fell in love with the house.

She passed the formal dining table with its massive chandelier and headed to the kitchen space. It was at the far end of the great room, and while it was technically still the same room, she could see it also wrapped around the corner. It had two massive kitchen islands and the largest stovetop she’d ever seen. It even had not one but two pot fillers.

It wasn’t your typical white modern kitchen. This one was black and white and had copper accents: black lower cabinets, white upper cabinets, a gray and white marbled countertop, and a white subway tile backsplash with black grout.

There was a huge copper farmhouse sink under windows that looked out to the backyard. A copper range hood was over the massive stovetop. Two full-size double ovens were built into the wall. There was even an industrial size fridge.

In the middle of it all, Johnny was cooking at the stove.

He looked up when he noticed her enter the kitchen. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t gotten much sleep. His face was still bruised, but his black eyes had faded to a sickly yellow color. “Morning,” he greeted, his voice thick from sleep.

“Morning,” she replied softly. She didn’t know where she stood with him.

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