Page 21 of Reconciling the Consequences

“Again, you’re more swollen than you should be a week out,” Dr. Jacobs said, frowning as he assessed her ribs. Her skin was mottled with bruises, and the swelling had made it even more grotesque. “Your ribs are still broken. At this point they could easily puncture your lungs again. Remember the lung tissue is healing inside as well: you need to rest. It is extremely important that you don’t do any jerky movements, bending and lifting, twisting of any kind while you heal. I’m ordering bed rest for the rest of the week. Stay in bed, ice the ribs and knee, and we’ll reassess next week.”

Kara frowned but nodded slowly.

“This is pretty swollen.” Dr. Jacobs sighed as he gently prodded her ribs. “It’s going to be difficult to remove the stitches.”

Kara’s heart pounded. She read between the lines of what he said: it would hurt to remove the stitches.

She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing as the doctor began. When she winced slightly, Johnny’s hand slid into hers. She thought about dropping it, about pushing him away, but it fucking hurt, and having something to squeeze helped keep her mind off it.

“How we doing, Kara?” Dr. Jacobs asked, his voice soft and soothing.

Kara let out a shaky breath as tears slipped past her clenched eyelids.

“I know. I’m almost done. Keep breathing,” Dr. Jacobs replied.

Johnny’s other hand came over the top of the hand he held, and he rubbed his palm up and down her arm in a soothing motion. He was slightly behind her to make room for Dr. Jacobs, who was also on her left side. It was awkward at best, but it distracted her enough to bear the pain of the stitches being tugged through her swollen skin.

“All done.” Dr. Jacobs pulled away.

Kara dropped Johnny’s hand and brushed away the tears on her face.

“Alright, Kara. I know that didn’t feel good. You are good to go, though. Schedule an appointment for next Monday for a follow-up. Today I want you to go home and take all of your pain pills and go to bed. Bedrest this week, OK? I’ll see you next week.”

She nodded, exhausted and aching, her throat thick with tears.

Dr. Jacobs left the room, and Johnny circled the table so he was in front of her.

It took her a moment to be able to sit up, but when she finally did, Johnny had to help her. “Easy,” he whispered into her ear as she rested her head against his shoulder.

She bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as she groaned in pain. She had only taken one of her pain pills that morning, not all three. She hated this—she didn’t want to depend on him and hated that she had to. Worst of all, she really wanted to be able to.

She choked on a sob, her fingers gripping his shirt.

“Hey.” He sighed, wrapping both arms around her. “It’s OK.”

She hiccupped against his shoulder and shook her head. “It’s not, though,” she cried. “It’s not OK. I’m not OK.”

“I know, baby. No one is expecting you to be OK,” he murmured. “I’m here for you, Kara. Lean on me, let me help you.”

She shook her head again. “I don’t trust you.” She hiccupped again, her head still pressed against his shoulder.

He stiffened and pulled away slightly to look down at her.

She couldn’t meet his gaze.

His hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. “Because of what I said?” he asked slowly.

“Yes… no…” She shook her head. Finally, she looked up into his baby-blue eyes and saw his pain there, pain that echoed that in her heart. “You left me there, Johnny,” she cried, her voice cracking. “You fucking pulled me out of the house and left me for the ambulance. You didn’t stay. You didn’t come by the hospital. You fucking left me alone! I’m always fucking alone!” she yelled at him.

He stopped moving and watched her, his eyes widening at her outburst. She was well aware that she was yelling and that they were still in the doctor’s office—anyone could hear outside the door. She didn’t care. She was past caring about other people’s feelings.

“I’m sorry, Kara,” Johnny started, his thumb resuming his rubbing of her cheek, “we had club—”

“I’m tired.” She jerked her head out of his grasp, effectively cutting him off before he could blame his absence on club shit. She pushed off the medical table, ignoring him as she opened the door and walked into the hallway.

“Kara.” He groaned deeply from behind her.

She shook her head and wiped her eyes as she headed toward the front desk. She needed to make her follow-up appointment and then go home and lie down. She’d pay no heed to Johnny, and the fact that she thought of his home as hers as well, until a later time.

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