Page 35 of Can I?

My mama said they got into a huge brawl at one, years ago before she and my dad even got married. Uncle Jasper, Uncle Storm, and Daddy nearly got arrested. Had it not been for Grandpa having connections out there, they would have. The only other reason most people from this area went out there was to see family and get food. Aunt Jen knew how to make all the food the same way they did. So there truly was no point.

When Ace walked inside the diner, everyone stood and clapped, including Mr. Ali and three men from Watchful Eyes that were with him. He came to the table where PJ and I were and had a seat. Not long after he sat, the rest of their crew camein. Ashanni and Maui were still at work and were also getting ready for graduation. Aunt Jen and Aunt Chrissy were busy prepping for the festivities.

It had been a week since the festivities at Mr. Red’s house, and I had yet to contact Ferris. He’d ignored me for an entire week, and had he not seen me last weekend, he still wouldn’t have reached out. I decided that I would no longer allow my mind to be consumed by him. I practiced the rest of that evening, hitting the fucking dirt more times than I could count. I literally wanted to just lie there and let them throw dirt on top of me.

I’d gotten the wind knocked out of me a couple times. Bareback riding wasn’t for the weak. I didn’t know how my mama accomplished that shit. She really had to encourage me that day, letting me know that it wouldn’t happen overnight. I couldn’t even practice Sunday, because my body was so sore.

I’d practiced barebacking a couple of times this week, but my mama told me not to overdo it. The other days I’d concentrated on barrel racing and talking to Karima about starting our rodeo relay team. I knew she was itching to get back to it. She was due in three weeks, and I knew she couldn’t wait to meet their princess.

“A nigga need a chill session with all of y’all! I mean, I appreciate y’all coming chill with a nigga, but y’all was doing that shit at different times. It wasn’t the same.”

“Well, it’s gon’ have to be after all the graduation festivities for Ashanni, Maui, King, me, and Royal. You know we turning up at the family barn tomorrow,” SS said.

“Yeah. I forgot. At least I’ll get to be there.” Turning to me, he asked, “What’s up wit’chu? You good?”

“Yeah, I’m cool. Just practicing my life away. I’m gon’ get that shit if it kills me.”

“A’ight, Tiffany Junior.”

I chuckled as I finished off my pasta. When I got up to throw away my container, Ferris and Asad walked through the door. I took a deep breath and walked over to the table with my cousins and had a seat. I was planning to grab my shit and leave, but I didn’t want him to stop me to talk right now. I was supposed to be going to help Cassie with the baby so she could help everyone else set up for the graduation party.

Since King was her brother-in-law, she felt like she should be out there, despite how many times they told her to chill out. Between her and Karima, I didn’t know who was worse. Karima was at the barn supervising since they wouldn’t let her do anything. King was her baby, so she felt like she should have some input. I slowly shook my head at the thought.

As my cousins talked, I could see Ferris’s eyes land on me. He hadn’t reached out all week, so I supposed that meant he didn’t have time for me. I was tired of feeling like I was chasing him. Bali and Noni had jumped all over me last weekend about that shit, telling me not to chase no-fucking-body. I wasn’t chasing him. I just wanted him to see that I was everything he needed, despite my drama.

I supposed that was chasing him. If he didn’t want to be bothered, then I would leave him alone. That was the conclusion I came to. Seeing that he didn’t reach out all week, it made me feel as if I had made the right decision. I lowered my head and played with my hideous nails. I broke a couple of them this week and didn’t have time to go get them fixed. I would probably just soak them off tonight.

“What’s up, Milana?”

I lifted my head with my eyebrows hiked up I was in shock that he’d come to the table. Ace, PJ, and SS could be quite intimidating. They simply stared at him with frowns on their faces then turned back to me to see what I was gonna do. I wasmore than sure they were gauging my reaction to know if they needed to tell him to get the fuck on.

“Hey, Ferris.”

I flipped my braids over my shoulder and lowered my head again. He slightly cleared his throat and asked, “Can I talk to you?”

I looked up at him again, and when he tucked that bottom lip into his mouth, I folded. Taking a deep breath, I nodded and stood from the table. After grabbing my crossbody, I followed him to the other side of the diner. He set his food on the table then pulled out my chair. I sat and he joined me, sitting across from me. He looked nervous.

I glanced around the diner to see Asad had sat with Rylan and Christian and that Ali was watching us hard as hell. I nodded at him, and he smiled. As I brought my gaze back to Ferris, he gave me a slight smile. I wasn’t amused, so I didn’t smile back.

“Milana, I’m sorry it took me a while to reach out. I was hoping you would be here today so we could talk in person. I came Friday last week, but I didn’t see you.”

“I didn’t come.”

He nodded. “When I saw you at Mister Red’s house, my first thought was how much I missed you. My second thought was how beautiful you looked. My third thought was how kind you were to my nieces and nephew. You get where I’m going with this?”

I got his point, but he was gonna have to say it. I remained quiet, staring at him like I was clueless. Him taking so long to get to this realization somewhat bothered me, but I liked him so much. He was being extremely cautious with me . . . like I was a bomb that would detonate at any moment. I was really trying to be understanding of the predicament I’d put him in instead of being annoyed that he hadn’t called.

Saturday, he made it seem like he needed to talk to me right then. So when days passed without hearing from him, I got disgusted and depressed, thinking he chose to move on without me. We still didn’t know one another as well as we could have by now, but we knew enough about each other. He’d never seen me engaged in ratchet behavior, because typically, I didn’t. That was a one-time thing . . . a spur of the moment decision to stoop to Julius’s level and drag him to hell.

After he waited a few seconds for me to respond, he cleared his throat. “What I’m saying, Milana, is that your drama wasn’t even thought about. That lets me know that I’m making more out of it than it is. I’m sorry that I walked away from you.” He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “I want to continue getting to know you. Please allow me to do that. Allow me to be the man you need.”

He gently caressed the top of my hand as my body heated from his touch. My mind wanted me to leave him hanging as he had done me, but my heart wouldn’t allow such a thing. I stared into his eyes and gave him a slight smile. “Okay.”

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “Thank you. I can’t wait to call you mine.”

“I won’t be seeing anyone else, Ferris, unless you will be.”

He stood from his seat and pulled me from mine to his arms. As he hugged me tightly, Ali ran by us with his gun drawn and started yelling for us to get down.Fuck!Bullets rang out as I hit the floor hard. Ferris was right next to me, but when he laid his body atop mine, my heart attached to him. He kissed my head and said, “It’s okay, baby. I got’chu.”

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