Page 53 of Take a Chance on Greece

‘You think after sharing what you’ve described as a magical time with you, I then went on to meet your twin brother Andreas and found him even more to my liking?’ I said. ‘Just how much adventure do you think I got up to in one night? If you don’t mind me saying, it seems rather far-fetched to me.’

Although I had no way of knowing that what Alexis said wasn’t true, I instinctively felt that scenario must be wrong.

Alexis refused to be swayed. ‘Andreas works on boats normally, but he was in town that night because he had been looking after my shop while I was away. My brother is everything I am not: outgoing, charismatic, sporty. I am not surprised you fell for him. He is a good man. Even when we were at school together, he always had a lot more attention. When he is around, nobody notices me. That is not me complaining,’ he added hastily, ‘it is just the way it is. I am normally ok with that.’

Frustration joined my growing sense of incredulity. ‘Well, obviously I did notice you on that night, Alexis. Just because I’m attracted to you, it doesn’t mean I’d be attracted to your brother too. I’m sure he’s a perfectly decent guy, but I couldn’t care less how sporty and outgoing he is. I fell for you over these past few weeks because of your kindness, your intelligence, your quiet thoughtfulness. Do you honestly believe that when we first met we had this amazing once-in-a-lifetime type connection, then I walked out of the bookshop, bumped into your brother and immediately fell so head over heels for him instead that I had his name tattooed on my back? The idea is utterly absurd.’

He shrugged sadly. ‘Why is that any less absurd than you falling instantly for me? And the fact of the matter is that it ishisname that you have tattooed on your back, not mine. You always said it must have taken something extraordinary for you to have got a tattoo, however drunk you were. Andreas is that extraordinary person. The awesome man who inspired you to do something so out of character. I realised what must have happened the moment you told me about the tattoo.’ He paused, struggling to find the right words to continue his confession. ‘I should have said something right then, as soon as you’d returned and told me of your quest, but I was a coward and I was selfish. I felt such happiness when I saw you again, and then that happiness was crushed by your story and by the fact that you didn’t seem to recognise me. I foolishly decided I would keep quiet, hoping that by spending time with you, you would fall for me again, or at least start to remember what had really happened. It was very wrong of me. I have not been fully honest with you, and I will never be able to forgive myself for ruining what might have been.’

‘And you enlisted Yiota into your deception?’ I needed to know the full facts. I noticed him flinch when I used the word ‘deception’.

Alexis removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. ‘Yes. I am even more ashamed about that. I took advantage of the fact that you did not speak Greek to explain the full situation to Yiota and Maria right in front of you. They both told me I was a fool, that it was the wrong thing to do, and that I should be honest. And I knew that myself. But from the second you walked into the bookshop and I didn’t tell you what I knew right away, it then felt too late to turn back from that path, and before I knew it, I was getting myself into more and more trouble. The longer I left it, the more impossible it seemed to be able to tell you the truth. I told myself that I was only buying some time, so you might remember on your own terms what we had, but it was wrong of me, very wrong. When you asked me out, I knew that I had to confess. I tried, but the moment was never right. I should have tried harder. I will never forgive myself for the stupid choices I have made. I can offer no excuse for my behaviour. It was not what you deserved from me.’

He sat down behind the counter and put his head in his hands briefly, exhausted by his outpouring. His entire body language spoke of the shame he felt and his disappointment in himself. Then he looked up again, and sent me another apology-filled glance before writing something down on a piece of paper.

‘Here, this is my brother Andreas’s phone number. I should have given it to you long ago. You can finally speak to your Awesome Andreas again.’

He pushed it into my hands. I stared at the number until it went blurry, my mind churning with confusion. I closed my fingers over it, and put it in my pocket. Suddenly I needed to be outside in the fresh air. The bookshop was stuffy with emotion and I couldn’t work out what to do next.

‘I need to think.’

To give him credit, Alexis didn’t say a word to try to stop me, but quietly stood to one side and watched me leave with a look of utter resignation on his face.

I walked down the street in a daze, my trainers scuffing through the dust. It felt strange that life was carrying on as normal out here when I had been having such a momentous conversation. I blocked out the happy chatter of holidaymakers as I tried to interrogate my feelings. I thought back to Jim’s deception and how hurtful that had been, and how manipulated and abused I’d felt because of it. Even now, I felt sick thinking about it. But how did I feel thinking about what Alexis had done? Hurt? Yes. Disappointed? Certainly. But was it a fatal blow? Were Alexis and I over before we’d ever really started?

Jim’s deception had taken place over the course of years, and had been a calculated choice from the start, motivated by the desire to control. Keeping me on low pay had been another way of keeping me on a tight leash, just like withholding the key to his house for as long as possible had been, and he’d made the most of the position of power it had put him in. The only reason he had confessed to what he had done had been because I had confronted him about it, and he had had no choice. Even then, he had showed little to no remorse, and seemingly didn’t understand why I was so upset about it. He had continued to harass me, even going so far as to turn up in the place I had escaped to.

This situation with Alexis was painful too, but if I really examined it, I realised that the deception he had got embroiled in felt like it was of a very different nature. What Alexis had done was wrong, and he shouldn’t have done it. He was very aware of that, and I was certainly not going to make excuses for him. But I did acknowledge that it stemmed from a spur-of-the-moment decision to be sparing with the truth. And I could understand how, once he’d made that decision, things had spiralled out of control until he was out of his depth and unable to go back. He’d kept quiet about his Andreas suspicions when I’d first sought his help, and then he’d asked his sister not to mention their brother, and relied on the discretion of his friends to keep the secret. He had hoped that time would allow me to rediscover our connection and fall for him once again, but he had never gone beyond that hope. He hadn’t used the situation to his advantage to make a play for me, but instead he’d offered his friendship and support, always being there for me, and giving me the space I needed to come to my own conclusions about what and who I wanted. He’d never forced his opinions on me, and he’d stood by and watched me go off on Andreas dates, offering to look out for my safety, even though it must have caused him great pain. He had only showed his true feelings when I had declared mine first.

I thought back to the rooftop party at Eleni’s last night and remembered how he had kept trying to tell me something, but I had hushed him. And when we had returned to the Helios Hotel and I’d kissed him and invited him up to my room, he had refused because he wanted to be honest with me first. He would have confessed everything then and there if Jim hadn’t arrived on the scene with his usual bad timing. Alexis was no cruel manipulator like Jim. Ultimately, I knew he was a good man. He’d allowed his heart to rule his head, and now he was paying the price. I had hopped on a plane back to Kefalonia because I had taken a chance. That decision had served me pretty well, all things considered. Perhaps it was time to take another chance, although this one felt like much less of a gamble.

I stopped in the middle of the street, and looked around me, trying to get my bearings. My distracted wanderings had brought me to the Athena Hotel, the very place where Kat, Amira and I had stayed. Feeling nostalgic, I waved at the proprietor who was busy checking in a coachload of guests who’d obviously just arrived off the midday flight. He gave a distracted wave back, clearly not having a clue who I was or why I was waving at him. I looked across the street to the bar the girls and I had been drinking in. This was where it had all begun. Now it was time for me to return to the bookshop to see where my next chapter led me.

I retraced my steps to Alexis’s shop, going at a much quicker pace than before, despite the fuggy heat of the day. The ‘Closed’ sign was still up, but this time the door was locked. I tapped on the frame and peered through the window, my breath steaming up the cool glass. There was no reply from within.

‘Alexis,’ I called through the letterbox.

I heard the sound of hurrying footsteps, then the key quickly turned in the lock.

‘You came back,’ said Alexis, looking past me into the street as if he expected to see somebody else with me.

I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket which had his brother Andreas’s number on it. I showed it to Alexis so he could be in no doubt what it was, then I ripped it up and stepped past him to put the pieces in the recycling bin next to the till.

Alexis looked shocked. I could tell that he wasn’t even allowing himself to hope anymore.

‘Alexis, you may have acted foolishly, but I accept there was nothing malicious in what you did. You got in over your head, and then were trapped in an impossible situation of your own making. I know that fundamentally you are a good man, and if we are to remain…’ I hesitated, not sure what word to use. ‘… In contact with each other, then I trust that you will always be honest with me.’

‘If you give me the chance to redeem myself, I promise that I will always be completely open and truthful with you,’ he said fervently. ‘I cannot tell you how very ashamed I am of myself.’

‘Enough of the self-flagellation. I forgive you.’ They were just three small words, but they were from the heart.

Alexis wiped his eyes. ‘Thank you. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I am honoured that you are giving it to me.’

I went over and hugged him, my heart breaking at how sad he looked. As I held him close, I inhaled the faint trace of his spicy aftershave once again.

I stepped back and fixed him with a stern look.

‘My forgiveness is freely given. But you have got to get it out of your head that I fell for Andreas. However convinced you are that this whole meeting your twin scenario happened, I am sure that you’re completely wrong. Whatever insecurities have led you to believe that Andreas is the more attractive twin, and that you’re second best, you should stop listening to them. In my opinion, it’s very much the other way round.’ Alexis actually blushed, which I found sweet. ‘And I’m absolutely certain that I’ve never met your brother Andreas in my life. No, wait…’ I paused, a memory stirring to the surface. ‘I tell a lie. I think I may have seen him from a distance, when I went on the boat trip from Agia Efimia. I was convinced the man across the street was you, and that you hadn’t noticed me. It felt strange at the time, because you appeared to look straight at me, and I was jumping up and down waving like a right muppet, but you seemed completely oblivious, as if I was a total stranger. I’d assumed it was because you hadn’t got your glasses on, but it must have been your twin that I spotted.’

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