Page 64 of Her Fixer Upper

I stared up at the broken house and thought of my earlier resolve to speak up. Was I wrong to even be considering still going through with it now? But on the other hand, what did I have to lose? For weeks I’d been holding back, not daring to say what was on my mind, making myself miserable, allowing it to destroy our friendship. I’d experienced the agony of rejection over and over again, not because it had actually happened, but because I’d let fear get the better of me, because I’d listened too closely to that nasty voice in the back of my head telling me that I wasn’t worthy of being loved.

But it was time to stop letting that voice dictate my behaviour for the rest of my life. If Charlie rejected me, I would be devastated. But if I carried on not knowing, then that would be a torture more painfully slow and more destructive. I had to try, then at least I wouldn’t have to go through the rest of my life wondering ‘what if’.

‘I’ve always been brought up to follow the rules and do the right thing. But I’m starting to realise that they’re two separate beasts,’ I said slowly. ‘Because not long after we moved into the house I knew I was in definite danger of breaking The Rules, or rather one rule in particular.’

Charlie’s expression remained hard to read, but he did at least give me a prompt.

‘Which rule was that?’ he asked.

‘Rule 18c.’

‘You’ll have to remind me which one that is,’ he said, to my surprise. I’d still half believed that that particular rule was the reason he’d had them framed.

‘Rule 18c. “No getting involved”,’ I said.

‘You’re going to have to spell it out for me,’ said Charlie. ‘Tell me what you really mean, Freya.’ He wasn’t going to make the rest of this easy for me.

Summoning up all my courage, I said, ‘I got involved. Your friendship means everything to me, Charlie, and since we’ve rekindled it, it has brought me such joy. You are the person who knows me best in all the world. You’ve seen me at my worst and best moments, and you’ve still given me your friendship.’ I took a deep breath. ‘But now I’m hoping for more. You are my best friend, but I’ve also fallen in love with you. I couldn’t feel more involved if I tried. When we were kids, the grown-ups always used to say we were partners in crime. What I’m trying to say is that now we are adults ourselves, I would love it if we could become partners in life.’

My heart was racing, my mouth was dry. I had made myself vulnerable, made that move from which there would be no going back. But now that I had said it, I also felt strangely calm. The words were out there. I had said my piece. It was up to Charlie now. Whatever his reply, I knew with certainty that I wouldn’t regret what I’d done, and I was proud of myself for doing it.

Charlie took a step closer towards me, and suddenly I knew his answer before he even opened his mouth to say it.

‘I thought you’d never ask, Freya,’ he said softly.

ChapterThirty

Of course, it was never going to be as easy as admitting our feelings for each other and then skipping off into the sunset for our happy ever after. For a start, as I pulled Charlie towards me, my senses zinging with anticipation at finally being able to kiss him properly, Ted decided that he was sick of hanging around in the lane and went for a wild run, zipping around the house and aiming for the hole in the side of the kitchen, judging it to be the shortest route back to his bed.

‘Ted, no, come back.’

We set off after him, initially still holding hands, but quickly separating when we accepted that it wasn’t the most practical way of capturing a rampaging dog, especially given my slow pace due to my injured foot. Thankfully we managed to stop him before he went back into the house and Charlie deposited him in his run.

‘I can’t help feel rather smug that it survived the storm,’ he said.

‘I don’t think Ted would agree with you,’ I replied, as Ted turned around three times on the spot and then flung himself onto the ground, his back pointedly facing towards us.

Now that we were in the garden, we had an even clearer view of the challenge facing us.

‘I know we used to joke about living in the house being like camping. But now we probably really are going to have to camp in the garden. Where are we going to start with trying to solve all this?’ I said, as Charlie took my hand once again and we picked our way through the debris.

‘The roof and walls,’ he said casually, as if it was going to be the easiest task in the world.

‘Oh well, that’s sorted then. Nice and simple, just a couple of little minor tasks,’ I said with a laugh, wishing that my words were true.

Charlie fixed me with a steady look. ‘But the foundations are still good. And as long as the foundations are strong, everything else will fall into place.’

‘We don’t know that for sure.’

‘I think we do,’ he replied.

I figured he wasn’t just speaking about the house. We leaned towards each other, and then our lips touched at last. I could feel the smile on his mouth as finally we kissed, softly at first, then with growing urgency, our bodies pressed against each other. I couldn’t be close enough to him.

‘There is one slight problem, Hutch,’ Charlie breathed against my lips some time later.

‘I can’t think of anything that would cause us a problem,’ I replied as I trailed a row of kisses along his jawline and then proceeded to explore his neck in greater detail.

‘We only have one double bed, and it was in my room,’ he murmured.

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