Page 44 of Spurred On

Ava

The ER has been absolutely slammed today, with everything from sore throats to borderline severed fingers. I figured being such a small hospital, they wouldn’t get the crazy stuff. But it turns out farmers and ranchers know how to keep things interesting. And we’re the only hospital within a fifty-mile radius.

“CODE BLUE ROOM 2, CODE BLUE ROOM 2,” blares over the intercom.

“Do we need to go?” I look over to Aspen, who’s charting away at her computer as we sit in the nurse’s station. We’re waiting on labs, and then the doctor will provide the patient we’ve been monitoring with results so we can finally start their discharge.

“No, the on-call team and the floor nurses cover med-surg. We stay here. You never ever leave the ER with only one person on duty. If you ever end up with a violent patient, you’ll learn why.”

I shake my head, not wanting to ever learn that lesson. “I can only imagine what you’ve seen.”

“The good news about working in a rural hospital is you get pretty seasoned quickly.”

“So I won’t always feel dumb as a doorknob?”

“Oh no, you will pretty much always second-guess yourself. But once you learn policy and procedures and get a few traumas under your belt, you won't feel soterrified.”

“That's good to hear.” Because right now, I still get a rush of nerves every time I drive into the hospital, and I’ve already been working for a couple of weeks. I figured the nerves would have died off, but the job is rewarding, even if I’m handing out sandwiches and tissues.

The radio on the desk goes off. “Windy Peaks Community Hospital, we have an incoming trauma via ambulance—head-on collision. Prepare a full trauma team. Two incoming.” The adrenaline rushes through my system. I ball my hands into fists to hide my shaking hands. I’ve somehow avoided seeing hands-on trauma in clinicals. Some of my classmates did, but I never had the opportunity to dip my toes into that water. I knew this day would come, yet it still feels too soon. But this is the reason I became a nurse: to help people. To make a difference and hopefully get someone’s mom and dad home, even though mine didn’t get to do that. If I can do that for even just one person, I think that would help heal that little piece of me that aches. That wants to help others never experience life without your two favorite people.

Aspen pops out of her chair, tightening her ponytail as if preparing for battle. “Alright, time to shine, Ava! What do we do in traumas?” Her eyes look to me for an answer, and my mind blanks.

“We… We, uhm, we RAP.” The words stutter out, but it starts coming back to me.

She nods encouragingly. “Good, and what does that entail?” She opens the trauma bay curtain as I follow behind.

This answer comes quicker. “Ready the rooms, complete an across-the-room assessment, and gown up.”

“Good! You’re going to do great. If you get queasy or nervous, take a step back. It gets easier with time, I promise. You can learn a lot by watching. Can you make sure the ultrasound is in the room?”

I nod my head, words failing to find me. I locate the ultrasound in the storage room and bring it into the room. “Alright, what will we use this for?” she quizzes me.

This answer comes to mind even quicker. “To check for blood in the abdomen after palpations.”

“Very good. It’s about to get very busy. You’re going to see a lot of new faces. Respiratory therapy will be here, and the general surgeon will probably pop their heads in if they’re not in surgery.”

Clair, the house supervisor, comes flying into the ER. “Are the bays ready? I informed the rest of the team. They should be here any second.”

“Thanks, Clair. You mind sticking around? Ava’s a new hire, and having more hands on board wouldn't hurt.”

“Nope, I wasn’t planning on leaving. It’s not every day we get to have a trauma party.” Her enthusiasm is a stark difference to my crippling fear. She walks over to the PPE cabinet and gowns up, putting goggles and gloves on too. I follow her lead and get gowned up and ready. My heart races, and my thoughts feel all sorts of scattered. Taking a few deep breaths, I try to get it together. I watch as the doctor gowns up and prepares himself. He’s a newer doctor but sharp as a tack, always knowing how to get us out of a bind. If I have to do this, I’m glad it’s on his shift.

Within a few seconds, the roar of sirens blares outside the sliding glass doors, and two medics come running into the room.

“Male, airway was stable on transport, tachy at one hundred forty-seven, blood pressure is slightly low.”

At that moment, it’s like I’m eighteen again and in the ER with my parents. Blood everywhere. Seeing the ones I love slowly die in front of me. My breathing becomes more rapid, and I can’t differentiatebetween then and now. When I look at the table, all I see is my mom. Hear my dad screaming for her, and not knowing that in a few short hours, I would lose both of them. My body starts to shake as I slowly back up against the wall and squeeze my eyes closed, but that doesn’t stop the memories from flooding my mind. I never wanted to relive that day. I wanted to be a nurse to save someone, but I can’t do that when I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

I watch Aspen work; for such a carefree person, she handles the chaos with ease. “We need to intubate and get the ultrasound over here. NOW!”

I can’t do a lot, but this I can do. I bring the ultrasound closer, and the doctor drops a glob of gel on the patient's belly, grabbing the head of the ultrasound wand.

“Free fluid in the abdomen, page general surgery now. If he can’t get down here in the next five minutes, we need to stabilize and ship. Clair, call the flight team just in case,” the doctor orders.

“Yes, sir.” She darts out of the bay and off to her next mission.

The hour flies by, and I never kick the feeling of Deja vu. The general surgeon recommended we stabilize and ship since she doesn’t have a second surgeon on staff tonight.

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