Page 65 of Spurred On

Tears well up in her baby blue eyes as she looks up toward the ceiling, wanting to bat them away. God, I wish that I could hold her and pull her into my chest; maybe then this ache would ease. “I never said I didn’t love you anymore. It’s hard for me to count on people and I never wanted you to be someone I couldn’t count on. I trusted you with my heart and it felt like you didn’t care.” Despite the tears in her eyes, her voice is steady and strong. Just like her.

“Believe me, baby, that heart of yours is all I care about. I know I was wrong. You’re right, I should have chosen differently, but if you let me, I’ll prove to you that I won’t take you for granted ever again.” There’s no way in hell I want to put her through this twice. She will never have to doubt me again. It’s my job to be her steady place to land, and I plan on being the best man I can be to do it right.

She takes a deep, shaky breath and looks at me. I feel like those eyes can see straight into my soul. I think she’s always been able to do that, see right through me, and chose to love me even if it wasn’t perfect. I don’t dare look away from her. I don’t rush her. She’s got a busy brain, and I want her to make the choice she thinks is right. If that isn’t me, I will respect that and spend the rest of my life missing her.

“Okay.” She levels me with a stern look. “But Mav, I don’t do third chances. Youeverhurt me like that again or make me question my trust, there will be no words that you can say that will make me stay. I love you and almost losing you showed me just how much.” The walls she has built around herself tumble down for me and I thank my lucky fucking stars. Because this woman is worth more than anything in the world and I was a complete jackass to have almost fucked that up.

“Never again. I’m yours until you decide otherwise. Even then, I probably won’t let you go. I’m too stubborn.” I’ll be following her to the ends of the earth for the rest of my days.

The deep sigh that comes out of her chest washes a wave of relief over me. Her shoulders lose the tension, and I see a little bit of humor come back into her eyes. This is my Ava, my everything. “You’re something, cowboy. But you’re my something. And I love that. And you. So much.” She scoots closer and leans down to kiss me. It soothes more than the aches and pains in my body. It soothes the broken pieces ofme I had been trying to forget. I’m pretty sure her love could heal just about anything.

When her lips pull away, the look in her eyes lets me know everything will be okay. A stray long blonde hair tumbles forward, and I reach up, ignoring the way my body is screaming at me, to tuck it behind her ears. “Stay with me?”

“Always.”

Chapter 37

Maverick

You know what’s scarier than a bull beating the ever loving shit out of you? Telling your whole team you’re done. It’s been two weeks since my accident. I still feel like I got hit by a fucking truck, but I can almost take a whole breath without wanting to hit my knees, so that’s an improvement.

“You sure you want to do this today?” Ava’s eyes scan over me. She’s constantly making sure I am not trying to actively croak on her. The warm breeze blows in through the rolled down windows. I love this time of year. Everything is green, the flowers are all bloomed, and it feels like a little piece of heaven.

“I’m sure. I can’t keep them waiting.” Especially since they’re all going to need to find another client to add to their roster; that’s the only part I feel bad about. Coach is probably about ready to retire himself; I partly wonder if he hasn’t stuck around just for me. All these years, he was the only one who really had my back when it came to rodeo. If he was ever mad, I damn well deserved it.

Ava pulls the car to a stop in front of the house. She takes a deep breath as she looks at me, and that look right there is all I will ever need. All I need to do is look at her, and I know I will always have someone. “Okay, you ready to do this?”

“It’s time.” She opens her door, and I wince as I step out of mine. The bruises have all hit the ugly yellow phase, but fuck, do they all stillhurt. I walk around the front of the car and grab Ava’s hand. We walk into the house, a united front.

I invited everyone here today: Rhett, Weston, and his whole family. Well, since it’s their house, it made sense. Plus, it’ll be nice having their support should shit hit the fan. Knowing Doug, it might.

They all sit around the large table, but I don’t bother sitting. My nerves would make it impossible to do so anyway. Plus, Ava has had me so cooped up, it's nice to be up and moving.

I look to Ava and have not a single doubt in my mind that I am making the right choice. It’ll be a relief to have this off my chest and start figuring out what I am going to do next. Even if I don’t know what the rest of my life holds, at least it holds her. Ava grabs my hand, bringing me back to why I’m doing this all in the first place. A life. A life with her.

“Alright, I won’t keep you all long. I know we are all busy,” I say, looking around the room. Weston gives me a subtle nod. The corner of his mouth tilts up in a half smile, and I can see the pride on his face, making this that much easier. “Before going into my last ride, I had made the decision it would be my last. I didn’t want my last professional ride to go like that, but it proved exactly why I need to stop. You all know what happened to my dad, and I have a whole life yet to live, so I plan to do that.”

Coach immediately finds his way to his feet and moves to stand in front of me. I stand strong and look him in the eye, ready to take whatever words he intends to strike me with. Only he doesn’t.

I’ve hugged my coach one time in my life. When my dad died and we were at his service. He has been a huge piece of my success, but we’ve always kept it professional. He shocks the hell out of me when he pulls me in for a hug; the words he whispers in my ears will stay with meforever. “I’m proud of you, son. You did the one thing your dad never could.”

“What’s that?” I pull back and look at him.

“Walk away.” His eyes have a bit of mist in them. Sometimes, I forget he probably misses him too.

I’ve tried my whole life to prove I’m something, and those words hit me right in the chest. I may not have gotten the buckle, but I did walk away with a life to live, and that is worth more than any buckle. Coach Sully pats my arm a couple times, with his face in a proud smile.

Our moment is ruined by an interruption. “Bullshit. You’re in your prime. You’d have to be mad to walk away now,” Doug’s mouth pops off, quickly ruining the happy moment like usual.

“Doug, this decision isn’t yours to make,” I say, my voice even and firm.

“Well, it affects all of us.” He opens his arms, looking at everyone around us as he does.

This guilt trip no longer works on me, I never should have let it in the first place. “You can find another cash cow to milk, Doug. I’m done.” I know what this is really about. What it’s always been about. Money. The only fucking thing Doug cares about. It makes me wonder if my dad ever wanted to walk away but stayed because of Doug’s voice in his ear. God, I wish I would have pulled my head out of my ass so much sooner.

“Oh please, this is exactly why I wanted you away from that girl. She’s just another buckle bunny whore.” His words drip with disrespect, venom coating each one. Anger flares through me like nothing ever has. I don’t know if I can even swing, but I am about to knock out a sixty-year-old man. No one talks about Ava like that.

I take one step forward, pulling Ava behind me, ready to lunge, but Rhett beats me to it. Knocking him flat on his ass.