If that’s where he wants to spend his last minutes, well then.
His funeral.
17
SHILOH
The walk to Professor Dempsey’s office is long. At least it feels like it.
The halls are dark and quiet in the nearly empty building.
He and I are the only two people here. The other students stayed behind the one-way mirror. Eddy is long gone.
Kaleb’s there, still. He didn’t walk out of the clinic when we did.
Goddamn him.
Rage simmers in my blood all over again. It’s never really left, has it?
I’m drowning in it. So much so that it pushes out the shame over my tantrum. The fear of being expelled. The unease of being close—too close—to my teacher who touched me yesterday.
Iwish I could double back and run to the clinic. Fish out my pocketknife. Stab my stepbrother so he’ll realize how insane he’s making me.
I’ll carve my name into his arm. His stomach.
Nothing major. Nothing that’ll cause him to bleed out. But I need this outlet.
I’m a wild animal, and it’s his fault. He’s the one who has to help me climb down this madness tree.
What was he thinking?
What wereyouthinking?
I was thinking of him alone in the psychiatric hospital. Of me getting kicked out of the only home I’ve ever known, without a chance to tell Kaleb goodbye.
I thought about missing him. About my guilt.
About how I can’t let it happen a second time.
I don’t care that he kills people. I don’t care that he’s into sick games. That he’s not great at listening to me.
I. Don’t.
Except Eddy realized who he was. Others could have, too.
Police sirens. My stepbrother being hauled away.
Away from me.
“Inside.” Professor Dempsey is already at the threshold, the light in his office turned on. His face betrays nothing as he holds his arm out. “This minute, Shiloh.”
A heaved sigh slips past my lips. Which is bad. The last thing I need is forthis might-be predator tothink that I’m weak.
Kaleb must’ve left by now. He had to have realized how dangerous it would be to stay. I hope he did. I’ll be really, really fucking angry if he didn’t.
I still wish he were here so I wouldn’t feel so defeated.
Even with the knife that’s within arm’s reach. Even with my coat that I shrugged on as another layer of safety between me and my teacher.