Page 117 of The Light Within

Still, at least many things made more sense now. Yet there was one question still left unanswered, looming large in Julien’s picture of events: why hadn’t Béatrice talked to him when she started getting wrapped up in it all?

Had L bullied her into silence? Did she think Julien wouldn’t approve of her involvement?

“I think she was trying to protect you,” said Cinn into his ear, making him jump.

“What?”

Cinn laughed. “I can see what you’re thinking about. It’s written all over your face.” He nudged his hip against Julien’s. “Plus, me and her have our bond. So I know her now. You were always protecting her. From your dad and stuff. So she wanted to protect you for once.”

Julien swallowed around a thick lump that prevented any attempt to reply. He blinked rapidly, pushing back the sudden sting of emotion. He took a shaky breath, his chest heavy with a strange mix of intense gratitude towards Cinn and the aching regret that he’d never quite know the whole truth about Béatrice’s decisions.

But as he caught Cinn shyly smiling at him, looking pleased with himself, Julien understood he could grow to be okay with that.

Cinn and his beanie hat disappeared into the Clio’s rear seats.

There were much more important things to be worrying about.

twenty-seven

Cinn

Exhausted wasn’t a strong enough word for how tired Cinn felt after the roller-coaster of the last two days.

Cinn and Julien ended up back at Cinn’s house after all, upon Darcy pointing out that staying at her cottage had the unfortunate side effect of endangering her as well.

Once they’d climbed into bed, Cinn refused point-blank to leave his bed before noon the next day, and then only left his room to cook or smoke.

Julien spent the day at the windowsill, twitching the curtain back every five seconds to survey the road, awaiting the imaginary next round of assailants.

By nightfall, Cinn lost his patience.

“Enough! If they come, they come. They’re hardly going to walk down the road all obvious, are they?”

Julien heaved a sigh. He drew the paisley curtains closed, then put his hands in the pockets of the hoodie he’d ‘borrowed’ from Cinn back in London. There was no claiming it back now. Julien wore it religiously anytime they were in the house. Cinn had, so far, done an exceptional job of not teasing him about it. Probably because the sight of him in it, while deeply amusing, filled Cinn with a quiet warmth—his chest felt strangely light, like he was in on a joke only the two of them understood.

With a pout, Julien said, “I’m not sure this is how you show appreciation to the person you love who is trying to keep you safe.”

Cinn adopted a pointedly confused expression. “Who said anything aboutlove?”

A stray pillow found its way into Julien’s hands, then Cinn’s face.

On the bed, Cinn lazily swung his leg around to lie on his side. “Oh, right, yeah, you did mention something about that. A few times, actually.”

One moment Julien was by the window, and the next, he’d pounced on Cinn, pushing him backwards, pinning him to the bed with his full body weight.

“I don’t care how many times I’ve said it.” Julien’s eyes were dark, his expression deadly serious.

Cinn stilled, captivated by the curve of Julien’s lips, the flash of his dimples.

“I am…” Julien’s hand gently brushed Cinn’s hair from his forehead. “Quite frankly…” He leaned down, his breath warm against Cinn’s lips. “So fucking in love with you, it hurts.”

Cinn’s heart stuttered at the thick emotion clouding Julien’s voice. “But I don’t want it to hurt,” Cinn whispered. And then, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know,mon amour,” Julien replied, his voice thick with sincerity, and Cinn relaxed, pulling his apparently sappy-as-fuck boyfriend down to capture his lips.

As their mouths met, Cinn’s chest became aglow with a starburst of affection that threatened to overwhelm him.

Julien’s lips were soft, pliant, moulding perfectly to the contours of his own. The kiss said more than Cinn could ever put into pretty words for Julien. It spoke of promises, of tomorrows, of all the futures they might have together.

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