Page 14 of The Light Within

Cinn’s head snapped towards him so quickly, it almost gaveJulienwhiplash. “Why would you do that?”

“You’re angry at me. I figured you might have changed your mind about me staying over until my building is repaired.”

“Christ, Julien, you’re impossible.” Cinn groaned, raising his foot onto his seat to rest his forehead on his knee. “Of course, I still want you to stay. It’d be a bit pathetic if I didn’t.”

Julien couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips as sweet, sweet relief washed over him. Cinn’s offer that morning, following an uncomfortable night’s sleep on Darcy’s living-room floor, of temporarily housing Julien was one he was so greedy for, he didn’t know what he’d do if it was ripped away from him. Perhaps he could somehow delay the repair of his glass wall indefinitely, if it meant guaranteeing waking up to Cinn in his arms every day…

“You’re a nightmare, you know that?”

“Who, me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cinn snorted, lightly shoving Julien’s arm. Julien captured his hand, interlacing their fingers to place them on Cinn’s thigh, where they rested for the remainder of the journey.

Cinn’s little maisonette had always looked adorable from the outside, but was positively quaint on the inside.

“Why have we been hanging out at mine when we could have been experiencing these delights?” Julien said, nodding to the framed watercolour of a kitten catching a butterfly that hung in the living room.

“Just to be clear, none of this is mine,” Cinn said, folding his arms. “Figured you’d prefer your ivory tower to granny chic. But, for the record, I like that kitten.”

“Come here.” Julien threw himself onto the sofa and held his arms out. To his surprise, Cinn didn’t hesitate before joining him, pulling his legs up to lay his head on Julien’s lap. “So, are you done being mad at me now?”

“Depends. Are you done treating me like a defenceless kid and charging off into danger on your own? It’s so selfish.”

Julien smoothed the deep creases on Cinn’s forehead with his thumb. “Selfish?”

“Yes. It’s fucking selfish when you could get yourself killed.” The lines only deepened, accompanied by a scowl so fierce Julien had to fight back a laugh.

“So, would you miss me or something if I died?”

“For fuck’s sake, Julien, this isn’t funny.” Cinn swatted his hand away. “Just… promise me there’ll be at least a bit more discussion next time, before you charge off without a plan or backup.”

“Okay,” Julien lied, gazing into Cinn’s golden-amber eyes before pressing a kiss to his pretty head. His pretty head that he’d do anything to protect. “I promise.”

“You don’t need to baby me, alright? I can hold my own.”

You looked pretty fucking spooked when we took down Heino Richter in that warehouse, but fine.

“How are you feeling about the whole Béatrice thing now, really?” Cinn asked, his eyes fixed on Béatrice’s locket, which Julien idly twisted around his finger.

Julien’s heart lurched at Béatrice’s name, his shutter guards flying up lightning fast. This was the last thing he wanted to think about. He’d been busy pushing those thoughts down. Down, down,down. He closed his eyes in a pathetic attempt to block out Cinn’s question.

Knuckles brushed across his cheekbone. “It’s okay to be mad at her for keeping this secret from you.”

“I’m not.”

Another lie. He wasn’t merelymad. He was fucking furious. So angry he could punch something, relish feeling the stinging bite against his fist. So angry he could scream until his throat was hoarse.

He and Béatrice had been an inseparable duo for as long as he could remember. From the moment she’d crawled over to him as a toddler, looking up at him so trustingly with big grey eyes, reaching up to tug on his hair.

Béatrice was always a single step away from Julien’s shadow.

Always there whenever he needed her.

Always there to keep him in line.

Other siblings fought. But he and Béatrice fought to survive, together, those horrendous few years preceding his mother’s death, and then the indescribable ones after.

When she’d followed Julien, Elliot, and Darcy to Auri after graduating a year after them, he’d felt complete again.