Page 126 of The Bittersweet Bond

His brows furrowed, his steps slowing as he came to a halt. "What?"

"I didn’t finish listening to it!" Her words tumbled out fast, her voice shaking. "Sergej was there, he wanted to hear it, and I… I didn’t want him to… I didn’t want you to matter." Her hands trembled as she pressed them tightly against her sides. "I deleted it, Bas. I have no idea what you said."

He stared at her as if she had just struck him.

"You deleted it?" His voice had dropped to almost a whisper, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

"Yes." She swallowed hard, looking away. "I thought… I thought it was just an apology. I didn’t know that…"

"That I told you I loved you?"

He held her gaze, his eyes searching hers, but she kept hers lowered, unable to face him.

"That I told you you meant more to me than I’ve ever told anyone? That I tried to be honest with you even when I’ve never been honest with myself?"

His voice cracked, and he exhaled sharply, trying to pull himself back together.

Evin closed her eyes, her nails digging into her palms.

"I didn’t know, Bas." She lifted her head, and when she finally met his gaze, hers was filled with pain and regret.

"I thought it was just… I thought it was nothing. And that makes it even worse because I…"

She trailed off, her voice failing her, pressing her lips together like she was trying to hold back the words.

"Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?" His voice cut through the silence. "Do you think it’s easy for me to open up? To trust you? To trust us?"

He shook his head, letting out a bitter laugh, like he was laughing at himself. "I’m not a fucking saint, Evin. You know that. You knew it from the start. I’m not perfect, and I never will be."

"That’s not what I’m asking for!" Her voice was suddenly loud, almost a scream that echoed through the darkness.

"But how am I supposed to open up when I always feel like I’m fighting alone? When everyone laughs at me the second I’m even a little bit kind to you? When I’m constantly afraid that you’ll just… drop me the second you get bored?"

His eyes narrowed, and he stepped closer, close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body.

"You think this is a fucking joke to me?" He shook his head, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

"You just don’t get it, Evin. I want you. Only you. And it took me a long time to understand that. But I do now. I know it."

Her knees felt weak, and the cold crept over her arms.

She wanted to believe him. She wanted to collapse into his arms and say everything she had kept bottled up for so damn long.

But something inside her still fought against it.

"I don’t know how much longer I can do this."

Her voice was barely a whisper, and her shoulders slumped as if the weight of everything was finally pressing her down.

He pulled her to him, his hands firm at her waist, his forehead pressing against hers.

"I will do anything to keep us together. You are mine. And if you let me, I’ll be yours." He paused, searching her gaze for an answer she didn’t give.

"But please… don’t expect me to be the perfect boyfriend. I’m not, and I never will be."

Evin closed her eyes, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

She hated herself for how much she wanted him, despite everything.

---