Page 181 of The Bittersweet Bond

Jonas leaned back, his gaze drifting toward the sky before he responded. "Life is messy. Sometimes it’s just shattered pieces everywhere. And sometimes, you don’t have to pick them all up alone—you just need someone to help pull out the biggest shards." He exhaled slowly. "You don’t have to tell anyone everything. But maybe it’s enough to let someone in."

She knew he was right. But the fear of what lay beyond that vulnerability was overwhelming.

And now she understood—this was why she kept pushing Bas away. The chance of truly letting herself go with him was too high. It wasn’t just the fear of him seeing her broken. It was the fear of her seeing herself that way.

Evin let out a bitter laugh, a sound that was almost a sob. "And then what? Someone tells me it’ll get better? That I’m strong? I’ve heard all of it before, Jonas. I already know all of it. And yet, nothing changes."

Jonas was quiet for a moment, his expression serious but soft. "Maybe. Or maybe nothing changes when you keep it all inside and try to get through hell on your own."

She looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, she felt caught. His words weren’t harsh, but they cut deep. She wanted to argue, wanted to tell him she could handle it alone, that she didn’t need anyone. But she couldn’t. Not when he looked at her like that—with a mix of patience and understanding that made it almost impossible to breathe.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked finally, her voice quiet but strained. "Why are you so... different?"

Jonas smirked faintly, pulling his legs out of the water before sitting fully across from her. "Because I know what it’s like to feel alone. Even when you’re surrounded by people. And because you’re someone worth showing up for."

Evin stared at him, her eyes burning with unshed tears, but she blinked them away. "I don’t know if I can do this."

Jonas leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"That’s okay. You don’t have to decide anything right now. But I need you to know that I’m here. Whether you want to talk, be quiet, or just sit here drinking orange juice."

A small, almost imperceptible smile played at her lips, and she nodded. "Thanks."

This time, the silence between them felt lighter, as if a fraction of the weight she carried had been lifted just by his presence. Evin glanced at the empty glass in her hand, then back at Jonas, and deep inside, a small, almost imperceptible spark of hope took shape.

__________

Evin stayed inthe garden for a while, the empty glass resting in her hands as the morning sun draped over her skin like a veil. The wind played softly through the palm leaves, making the light shimmer across the pool water, while somewhere in the distance, the steady hum of a sprinkler filled the air. Everything felt so calm, so put together—a cruel contrast to the chaos inside her.

Jonas had given her space, stepping back when she needed it, but the silence felt deceptive. Every breath was too loud, every heartbeat too heavy. It was as if the world had given her a brief reprieve, while she still couldn’t escape herself.

Her thoughts drifted, unbidden, to Bas. She had seen his face—the mix of anger, guilt, and worry she couldn’t bear.

Why was it so much harder to face him than Sergej?

Sergej was the enemy. The monster she had to guard herself against.

But Bas... Bas was the one who should have saved her. And she had pushed him away.

"I know what it’s like when people expect a certain version of you," Jonas had said. "But you can’t spend your whole life trying to make everyone happy."

Evin exhaled shakily, tightening her grip around the empty glass. Tomorrow was school. The thought settled over her like a stone.

How was she supposed to face Bas? How was she supposed to face herself, knowing that every conversation with him would push her to the edge of something she couldn’t hide from anymore?

She had spent days, weeks, convincing herself that she wasn’t the problem. But she knew the truth.

Not for the powerlessness. Not for the fear.

But for the distance she had built.

For keeping him at arm’s length when all she really wanted was to collapse into his arms.

The garden was still, peaceful. She took one last breath, placed the empty glass down, and stood up.

She couldn’t run forever.

Not from Sergej.

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