Page 54 of The Bittersweet Bond

But beneath all the anger, the jealousy, the bravado—it was there. That damn uncertainty.

The fear he’d never be enough for Evin, crashing into reckless little moments of hope. As if, for a second, he could be what she needed. But deep down, he knew better.

He didn’t fear her leaving because she didn’t care. He feared her leaving because she’d care enough to look deeper—and see everything wrong with him.

He swallowed it down. Locked it away.

“Come on. Let’s head out. The boys are probably waiting.”

Cat blinked. “You want to go now?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, already moving outside. “She already thinks the worst of me.” His reputation was fucked anyway.

If he was going to make bad decisions tonight, he might as well commit to them completely.

__________

Evin

Confused by his behavior, Evin had put up her own walls, pretending it didn’t bother her. But only while she was still there—inside, the fire of the past few hours seemed to be burning her alive.

Milka grabbed her arm and raising her voice slightly, "Evin, I’m not feeling well. Let’s go, please."

Thank god!

With hurried goodbyes, the two of them left the party in silence.

Evin didn’t even manage to say goodbye to Jonas. As they hurried off the property, the sound of the boys’ laughter and shouts still echoed behind them.

Evin felt an uneasiness growing inside her, so strong it broke her silence.

"Milka," she began as they reached their bikes. Her jaw was so tense she had to rub her face to loosen it before she could even process her thoughts.

"Wait until we’re around the corner," Milka replied as they mounted their bikes.

The entire ride home, they dissected the night in hushed tones, exchanging glances only they could decode.

They replayed everything, as they always did—every word, every laugh, even the silence between them carried the familiarity of years of shared highs and lows.

Evin’s whirlwind of emotions refused to settle. She was so overwhelmed by the intensity of love and feelings that she couldn’t even hold Bas’s actions at the end against him.

"How did I ever deserve you?" Evin said with emphasis. "My savior in need."

"I love you too, babe, but he doesn’t—not enough. He doesn’t deserve you," Milka shot back.

"If only he’d let his guard down," Evin mumbled.

"Hejust wants to have his fun," Milka scoffed, pedaling behind her friend.

"But there was something... It was like he was disappointed in the kitchen... Or maybe I’m just imagining it."

"Do I really have to spell it out? Let me sum it up for you: He wanted to hear, 'I don’t want just anyone. I don’t care about societal norms. I want to be with you. Let’s just see where this goes. No strings attached." Milka turned her head to her friend.

“Fuck him, Evin. You could’ve laid your heart out for him, and he still would've looked the other way.” The dopamine rush coursing through Evin refused to subside. Her body tingled in different places, and whenever she closed her eyes, she felt small sparks where Bas had touched her.

She pedaled faster and faster.

The harder she pushed the pedals, the more the burning seemed to spread, as if every gust of wind brought his touches back to life on her skin. The rush seemed to propel her forward, as if each gust of wind could etch his touch deeper into her skin.

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