Page 93 of The Bittersweet Bond

Chapter 28

Careful What You Wish For

Evin

Dear Diary,

I can’t do this anymore. Sergej... I don’t want him. I can’t stand him. He’s exhausting. Always pushing, always wanting more, always faster. It makes me sick.

But then I see Bas. And I know he doesn’t like it. That damned jealousy in his eyes. Somehow, I enjoy it. Does that make me sick? Maybe. But it feels good. And I force myself to hold on just a little longer. Just to feel it a little more. And so that he can feel even a fraction of what I had to endure all those years.

His cheap apology? He can keep it!

School… I passed all my exams. But how? No idea. Barely. Always just barely. It feels like I’m balancing on the edge, one step away from falling every single day.

Only ballet… that’s going well. That’s where I’m truly myself. That’s where it feels right.

But my weight? Fuck! Not even ten pounds in three months. Ten! After all this stress?

That’s stressing me out the most.

The only thing I wish for right now is to suddenly lose 20 more pounds! A miracle is needed!

Please!

Thank you!

Bye

Chapter 29

Defiance In Ash & Ink

Evin

Her fingertip glided over the uneven surface of the paper, catching on the indentations where she had pressed too hard.

Evin sat on the windowsill of her room, her diary open in front of her. The words stared back at her: "I don’t care what Sergej wants. I’m only doing this because Bas gets jealous."

She bit her lip. Who was she trying to fool?

Her phone buzzed beside her. A message from Sergej lit up the screen.

Sergej

Come over tonight.

Just the two of us. Let’s make it cozy.

Her stomach clenched. She didn’t want to go. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to stay away.

But then there was Bas. What if he found out? What if he showed that fleeting moment of jealousy again—the one she had become almost addicted to? It was reckless, pathetic even—but that flicker of jealousy in his eyes felt like proof that she still mattered to him, that she still had some kind of power over him.She typed back a short reply.

Evin

Okay.

Suddenly, she jumped off the windowsill, pulled on her workout clothes, left the apartment, and grabbed her bike.

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