Page 10 of Only Some Stars Fall

“No, I don’t see how it’s possible. I’m needed too much here.”

“I understand your fierce loyalty to your family; it’s admirable, but you’re not responsible for what happened. They have to learn to stand on their own. Maybe they could hire a manager or something? You should be able to do what makes you happy, you know?” Ashlee sits up, pushing her sunglasses on top of her head and looking down at the emerald water, probably contemplating if she wants one more swim.

The feeling of being in a box that’s getting smaller and smaller engulfs me. This conversation is making me claustrophobic. I am claustrophobic in the middle of a massive fucking lake. I abruptly stand and walk toward the steering wheel. “That’s the thing though,” I say. “It actuallyisimpossible for you to understand.” I crank the volume to blast the music, startling the sleeping bodies and making it clear that this conversation is over.

I walkinto my parent’s kitchen to find the house quiet. Lily, their old Springer Spaniel, is asleep on her bed. Birch bounds over to her, Lily letting out a warning growl that she has no interest in playing. I peer out the big bay window that overlooks the lake and see my mother and father sitting side by side in two Adirondack chairs by the water.

Their house, the house I grew up in, much like my current cabin, is on the resort property, but it’s just far enough from the main house that you feel like you have escaped work when you’re here. Well, most of the time. A thick barrier of evergreen and birch trees surround both sides of the house, making it feel tranquil and a little hidden.

The screen door slams as I make my way down the path to the water. “Hey, guys. Are we still doing dinner tonight?” I call out as I approach their chairs. My dad is watching the sunset, binoculars resting on the arm of his chair, and he leans down to pick up a flat rock. He examines the rock before seamlessly skipping it across the water, which has turned to glass like it does most evenings. My mother reads him crossword puzzle questions.

“Hi, honey! Yes, I’m just trying to figure out the nine-letter word for a social media platform. Then we can head over to the restaurant.” She doesn’t look up from the paper, intense concentration plastered across her face.

“Instagram. The resort has a profile. Old news, Ma, what year is that paper from?” I laugh.

She uses the paper to playfully swat my arm. “Don’t make fun of your mother; I’m getting old.”

“I thought we were eating here tonight? I was looking forward to seeing your newest masterpiece.” I hate going to the restaurant on my night off. I’m there enough as itis.

“I know, but Steven has a new dish he wants us all to try. He’s hoping to add it to the menu next week.” She gathers her book and paper. “I have some blueberry pie in the house we can have for dessert, and I’ll show you the new sculpture I’ve been working on when we get back.” I love that my mom still finds time for her art. For such a tiny woman, it’s impressive how she can carve statues out of huge pieces of wood with a chainsaw. Her sculptures are well-known up here. She’s been commissioned over the years by some very high-profile clients who spend summers on the lake. Two years ago, her income was pretty much what kept us all eating.

“Only if you have vanilla ice cream,” I reply in a childlike manner.

“Of course I do.” She smiles as we head down the path to the restaurant, my parents walking hand in hand behind me. “Did you have a good day off?”

My mother makes pleasant chit-chat with me about my day on the lake, a conversation we’ve had a million and one times, not much else to do on a day off up here. Like my dad, she knows not to pry much on the subject of Ashlee. She thinks Ashlee is a sweetheart, but she’s a true romantic, and I know she’s holding out for me to meet the love of my life.

Mom would like nothing more than for me to find someone who loves it here and is willing to take on this business like she was all those years ago. Mom was a summer guest here once upon a time. She gave up any other life to start one here with my dad, and I know she’s never regretted it, not for one second. They are a team, and I think she and Silsby were always a good fit.

But it’s not for me.

I have seen firsthand how fulfilling love can be, case in point, my parents, but I have also seen thesacrifices and the heartbreak it brings. It’s a risk I am not willing to take. Not here, not with this resentment and these ghosts.

We walk through the dining room, my father stopping to shake various hands, and make our way to a table in the back that is a little more private. Water glasses and warm bread are already set out for us. As soon as we are settled in our seats, Alex pops her head around the massive stone chimney that separates us from most of the guests.

“Well, aren’t I just the luckiest gal, serving the wonderful Anderson family this evening.” A cheesy smile on her face.

“Suck up.” I grunt.

“Hux J. Anderson! Where are your manners?” My mother swats me for the second time this evening.

“Don’t worry, Diane, I’m used to it by now. Having worked with Huxy for over a week, I have been reacquainted with his cheerful and uplifting personality,” she jokes.

“Steven is finishing preparing your meal. You guys are in for a treat; he is serving fennel-rubbed lamb roast with a citrus blend salsa. He has asked to bring it out himself, but I’ll be back in a bit to check on drinks.” Alex leaves to tend to her other tables.

My dad and I discuss some of the work that needs to be done on various cabins while we wait for dinner. Over the last few years, barely any maintenance has been done, meaning I have my work cut out for me. We currently have three cabins that aren’t rentable, which we need to have ready by snowmobile season in a few short months.

The resort has no vacancies, which is excellent for revenue but also increases the pressure to make sure this season goes smoothly. Now that all our summer staff has arrived, I feel a little more confident that we can manage, but it still leaves very little downtime for the three of us.

Once Steven brings out his newest creation, my motherbanishes all work talk, and we silently devour the meal, which is unsurprisingly exceptional.

“Alex seems like she’s doing a good job,” my father comments after she finishes clearing our plates.

“Yeah. She’s great, but don’t tell her I said that.” I sarcastically laugh while staring him down.

“Her best friend seems very nice too. Rhonda even likes her, which is terrifying. I don’t think she has liked an employee since the late eighties.” He laughs.

Why is everyone so damn interested in this Everly chick? Kenny, this afternoon, and now my father? For fuck’s sake, she is your average female college student, nothing to get so worked up about. I sip my water and look out the window as the sun sets behind the mountains.

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