“Storm was smart, steady, unimaginably more of an ass than me, and he loved it here. Silsby, Anderson’s, the lake, themountains, he loved it all. I never worried that I would have to be the one to step up when my parents were ready to retire. It was always Storm’s path.”
Just as Alex had, Hux only refers to Storm in the past tense. I don’t have to ask, and it doesn’t matter how, the pain of losing a family member is unbearable. Though we might be a couple of opposites, I have a feeling there are more similarities than we both know.
“Anyway, with Storm gone and my parents getting older, it’s time for me to decide my fate. For people like Ashlee, she can’t see the issue. In her eyes, I tell my parents I want nothing to do with the generational family business, they sell it off and hope to make enough money on that sale to retire in Florida, case closed.
“The only problem is, my father will never retire and would rather poke his eyeballs out than move to Florida. So, really, the option I have is to abandon them for my own selfish wants while they get older and struggle to keep up. I guess I do have options, but at what cost?”
He’s looking at me, but he isn’t really looking at me. I can read from the look in his eyes that he also isn’t looking for an answer or any input at all. As he did for me earlier, I sit with him. I let the silence soak up all the emotion that is in the air, and then we send it away with the breeze.
For the next hour,our conversation stays light, something I think we are both thankful for. We eat, sharing stories from the hotel that have me snorting with laughter. When he lets it slip that Rhonda has a secret obsession with Justin Bieber’s music, I can’t control myself. The fit of giggles that erupts from me is endless. I fall back onto the blanket, looking up into the sun as my body shakes and tears streamdown my cheeks. Every time I seem to have calmed my uncontrollable laughter, I picture my crotchety boss belting out the lyrics to “Love Yourself,” and it starts all over again.
But then a rough but gentle hand cups the side of my face. Hux runs his fingers first over my wet laugh tears and then lightly brushes my lips with the moisture. I can taste the salt mixed with the faint aroma of dirt and pine from his skin. An overwhelming urge to open my lips and suck his fingers into my mouth enters my mind, followed quickly by a large dose of embarrassment which causes my face to heat.
Instead, I lie perfectly still; the laughter replaced only with the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears. His fingers continue to delicately trace the lines of my face. They lower to my jaw and then trickle down my neck. I don’t open my eyes for fear of him stopping. I want nothing other than his fingers to continue to touch me. The mixture of want and nervousness churns low in my belly, and the feeling is so intense I have to will myself to breathe. As his hand trails down my body, my chest involuntarily rises to meet him. Goose bumps cover my skin as my breathing gets heavier, and I tilt my face back to the sun, exposing my neck even more.
I don’t even recognize myself. Here I am, lying in the middle of a field, letting a man who has proven to not like me all that much touch me in the most intimate way I’ve ever been touched. I should sit up and crush the tension between us, the tension that is building like a tsunami and threatening to destroy me. But I physically can’t. I have never wanted something more. I can’t get enough, and even knowing that nothing good can come from this, I can’t stop myself from wanting him to consume every part of me.
He works his way down to the bottom of my shirt, pushing it up just a smidge to burn my skin with his teasing touch. There is no way he doesn’t know what he is doing to me, no way he isquestioning my consent, but his speed never picks up. It’s torturous yet also incredibly assuring that he is enjoying my body. He has me in the palm of his hand, literally and metaphorically, yet he has asked for nothing from me. It’s foreign, nerve-racking, and exhilarating.
I hear the snap of the button on my jeans before I notice that his hands have slipped below the waist of them. I lift my hips just slightly, giving the okay for him to lower them down, exposing my bare thighs to the sun. His fingers graze the edges of my lacy underwear, and my breath catches in my throat. My skin is on fire; a mosaic of colors dances against my closed eyelids and my lips part. My breathing becomes a hungry pant as I feel my hips move up to greet his hands involuntarily.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me, Everly?” Hux whispers against my thigh, sending shivers down my body. “No matter what I do, I can’t get you out of my fucking head.”
I feel as if I could explode from his touch alone, but I’m held utterly captive by him. I fumble to push my jeans down farther, just as I hear the sound of heavy feet heading up the trail and the faint voices of people approaching.
Hux hears it too and quickly assists me as I pull my jeans shorts back up. He lies down next to me, his eyes closed, his breathing a bit ragged, and a flicker of a smile across his lips. We lie there, basking in the sun and pretending to be innocent, as a group of hikers make their way into the field. They drop their packs and pull out water bottles and sandwiches. Hux props himself up, glancing their way, as he gives a small wave and exchanges a quick “What a gorgeous day, huh?” before lying back down beside me.
Understatement of the year.
SIXTEEN
HUX
With every strokeof the axe, I let a bit more tension release from my shoulders. I have about a million other things I should be doing. This job is typically reserved for the hired summer help, but for two hours I have been splitting wood at a punishing speed.
The last twenty-four hours have been a mind fuck, to say the least, leaving me full of pent-up emotion. How did this happen? How have I gotten myself so wrapped up in a girl who will be leaving this secluded pothole of a town in a little over a month? I’ve seen summer heartbreak play out before and it was disastrous.
This shouldn’t have happened. I don’t want attachment, I sure as hell ain’t hard up for sex, so why? Why do I find myself constantly thinking about her, wondering when I’ll run into her again? She’s like a good afternoon buzz, and I gave up drinking two years ago.
“We’ve got plenty of kindling son, and we definitely don’t need wood chips. How about you go easyon that one.” My dad nods toward the log I just set down on the chopping block. He smirks as he starts to load a wheelbarrow.
“Oh, look who decided to show back up. How goes the wild goose chase?” I bite back.
I see the sadness wash across his face and immediately feel guilty, but it’s hard to feel bad when he has been doing this to himself for the last two years. There is nothing to find, Storm is gone, and instead of moving forward and helping the only son he has left, he’s out there chasing ghosts.
Always the optimist, he quickly changes the subject and chooses to ignore my nasty dig. “Numbers are looking really good this season.” He shields his eyes from the hot sun and looks out over the lake. “If we keep this warm, dry weather, I think we are guaranteed the best season in a decade or so.”
This should make me happy, and of course, I’m grateful that my parents can breathe a bit of relief, at least financially. But what does this change for me? Nothing. If anything, it proves how badly they need me here.
“That’s great, Pop, I’m happy for you.” I bring the axe down with intense force.
“For all of us, Hux. I know you’re still upset you came back, but is it really that bad of a life here?”
“I’m really not in the mood to talk about this right now. It doesn’t matter how I feel, I’m stuck here. Your favorite son made sure of that.”
“That’s not fair, I never picked one of you over the other. I know you’re still mad at him, but he was hurting Hux. It was beyond his control.”
“You don’t think I’m hurting? It wasn’t just his heart that broke, he broke us all.” I kick over the stack of wood next to the axe and grab the T-shirt I stripped off an hour ago. I throw it over my shoulders, using the ends to wipe my face.I take off, walking away from the man I love desperately, but who I don’t know how to heal either.