Page 35 of Only Some Stars Fall

Using the side employee entrance, I barge into the maintenance room and grab a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. I need to calm down, I have too much to do, and I can’t keep letting my emotions get me fired up.

As I lift the water to my lips and start to chug, I hear the washing machine lid shut behind me. I turn to see Everly standing there, her eyes raking over my bare, sweat-covered chest. A chest that is currently heavy and full with rage.

“Hi.” Her voice squeaks like a mouse as she searches my face, trying to read my emotions.

I don’t think as I cross the distance between us, forcefully meeting her lips head-on. She gasps in surprise but grants me the access I need. My hands find her ass as I hoist her up onto the ancient spinning washing machine.

I need her, all of her, right here, right now. Her hands frantically explore my bare chest, as my hands run up and down her thighs. I press myself harder into her as I kiss down her neck. I am craving a hit of her just like a drug, anything to take away this anger.

Kissing my way back to her mouth, I devour her once again, my other hand undoing the button on her shorts. Grasping her hips, I lift her up slightly so I can slide them off when Everly abruptly pulls her lips from mine and places both hands firmly in the middle of my chest.

“Stop,” she pants in a hushed tone.

I immediately pull back, making eye contact with her. Did I scare her? Her eyes wander to the slightly open door that leads to the back office. The office Rhonda is almost surely in at this hour.

“Not here. First, if Rhonda walks in, we will probably giveher a heart attack, and second, what is this? What are we doing?”

Avoiding her last question, I smirk. “No chance we would take out Rhonda that easily. She would murder us both right here, and then bring us back to life to clean up the bloody mess.”

Everly swats at my chest. “I’m serious… what about Ashlee? We haven’t even talked about how you have a girlfriend and how not okay this whole thing is. This is not me, I don’t do this.”

“You don’t do what exactly? Slum it with some country guy? Sorry to ruin your pretty boy streak. And as for me, I’m not committed to anyone, and I don’t plan to be. So my conscience is clear. Sounds like you’re the only one with some kind of problem.” Any playfulness I was trying to find is now gone, my anger is aimed directly at her.

Iwantto reassure her that Ashlee is of zero concern for her, but the comment has triggered me once again. Her face instantly twists in what looks like a mixture of sadness and distaste at my response.

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Everly!” Rhonda calls from the office. She quickly hops off the washing machine, slipping out of my reach.

Pulling down and straightening her shirt, she looks back at me right before disappearing through the doorway. Her eyes meet mine, and the look is enough to break my heart. Though I can’t completely read her emotions, I know it’s not good. She looks broken, disappointed, and I feel too messed up to try to fix it.

I kick the washing machine hard, leaving a dent in the sheet metal. I lower my forehead to touch the smooth, cool surface.

I definitely have fucked up.

SEVENTEEN

EVERLY

“Areyou sure you’re not overthinking it?” Alex says as she slowly dips her feet into the icy lake beside me.

I have been sitting on Alex’s dad’s dock since I got off my shift. She was still asleep when I came home in a frenzy. Not surprisingly, last night she helped Elle at the bar until closing.

I have been staring out at the mountains for hours, trying to sort out all the emotions running through my head like a freight train.

Since the day in that field with Hux, followed by the confusing encounter in the laundry room, I have felt off balance. Deep down, I’m also mad at myself. Hux has been hot and cold from the minute I walked into Anderson’s. So, what, I thought one day in a field fooling around was going to change it all?

“It didn’t feel right, Al, I am telling you. It was hot and urgent, but it was also aggressive and disconnected. It was like he was barely there, trying to escape through my lips.”

“Well, okay, maybe something did have him all riled up, but what’s really wrong with being his escape, Ev? Doesn’t thatprove he feels drawn to you even if he doesn’t know how to say it?”

I’ve been someone’s distraction before, and it shattered me. I promised myself I wouldn’t be that fragile ever again. But I can feel Hux trying to break through. Just like the ripples in the water my legs make, as I slowly swing them back and forth beneath the surface. Hux is beneath the surface.

I turn my face toward the sky, quickly swiping away the tear that unexpectedly escapes my eye. I swear it feels like I’ve been on the verge of crying this whole summer.

I let out a heavy sigh. “Nope. That’s it. My heart is a no-wake zone this summer.”

Alex stands up, stretching her tanned arms over her head. Her shift starts in the next hour, and for some reason, tonight, I really don’t want to be at the house alone. The last few days I have been ambushed by this empty feeling and as someone who likes solitude, it’s unsettling. But the most bothersome part is, I am not sure if the feeling is coming from spending a lot of nights alone in a foreign house in the middle of Maine’s North Woods or from somewhere deeper. For the first time, I wonder if it really is time to go back to Boston.

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