Page 58 of Only Some Stars Fall

Witnessing Everly with her college friends firsthand made this whole reality that much clearer. The worst part? I’m fucking jealous. We aren’t even living two different lives by choice. I’m not some guy singing about my hometown. Sure, I will always love Silsby, but I never planned to stay here. This wasn’t supposed to be my forever. Watching her interact with the life I want to live, right in the middle of Anderson’s bar? Torture. Absolute torture.

I want to get to know her friends and be that guy she’s excited to introduce to the people who are important to her. People I am sure I also would share a lot in common with. I can’t force myself to endure that level of pain. It’s easier to put up that wall I’ve built and avoid seeing the life I once had. The life I would like more than anything to return to.

My family needs me, and I may not feel the loyalty to this place that I thought Storm once had, but I sure as hell would never walk out on my parents. Which, therefore, means I am royally screwed.

Self-pity, once again, coursing through me at the shitty cards I’ve been dealt. I walk up to the front door and kick it open with the heel of my boot. The wood cracks and splinters as the doorframe lets go. I burst in, kicking debris that’s strewn about.

It’s all here. History with my brother. He moved into this cabin when I was a junior in high school. Now, it’s a destroyed mess. The flat-screen TV smashed, jagged shards of glass hanging from its frame. We played endless video games on that TV. The couch I crashed on more nights than I can count, buried beneath overturned drawers, is here. The liquor cabinetthat supplied the pre-game shots we did before whatever party we were headed to, now littered with empty whiskey bottles, is here.

But Storm isn’t.

Storm isn’t here because his heart drowned.

If Julia hadn’t died that summer, she would have left just like Everly will, and where does that leave me? Just as bad off as him?

I knew this wasn’t going to work. I knew this was a bad idea, and I still went along with it. I let my heart beat for someone else, and now, I have no idea what to do.

Holding on to the back of the worn couch, I put my forehead on the musky fabric and try to calm the spiral that has taken over.

My phone pings with the sound of an incoming text message. Pulling it from my back pocket, I am hopeful it’s Everly. If there is anyone who can help me find my footing, it’s her. Instead, it’s Tommy, the barback from the restaurant.

Hey, man, not trying to start anything or whatever, but that chick you’ve been spending time with just showed up here at Tyler’s end-of-summer party with none other than that richie Nick. WTF dude.

WTF is right. I’m down the steps, in my truck, and peeling out of the drive before I can even take a full breath.

TWENTY-SEVEN

EVERLY

“But we are stillin our bathing suits?”

“Who cares? It’s a bonfire. You’ve been to enough, and no one dresses up.” Nick unties the boat and pushes it off the sandy beach.

“Well, no one except Everly.” Alex laughs. I reach over and pinch her left boob, making her squeal.

After spending the entire afternoon water tubing, only finally giving it up when our lips had turned indigo, and our teeth were chattering to the point we all wondered if we would need to make a dentist appointment when we got back, we had headed to a secluded sandbar on the lake. I hadn’t seen one speck of sand on this lake all summer until now.

I rolled my eyes when Nick explained that the sandbar was private property and that you had to belong to the neighborhood association that, conveniently, his house was in. There was a slight tone of arrogance in his voice when he said, “This spot isn’t open to the public,” which I hadn’t noticed him use beforetoday. Now, I have noticed it twice. Or maybe I just hadn’t been paying enough attention in the beginning.

The four of us lay out in the warm sun like sleepy sea lions until our stomachs grumbled and dusk set in. I cleared things up with Hannah, and though she eyed me suspiciously when she learned I had essentially turned down Nick for Hux, I couldn’t help but notice she was also a bit excited to hear Nick was currently available.

The downside to this revelation was she had begged me to go to Nick’s friend Tyler’s house party. Honestly, since the disaster that was Alex and my party, I had very little interest in going to any more festivities. I would much prefer to spend the rest of my nights sitting at the bar while Hux closed up or soaking up my last few evenings with Alex and her dad.

“We haven’t even had dinner yet, and I’m starving. Maybe you should drop us off at Anderson’s, and we can meet you there in a little bit?” At this point, I am desperately looking for a good enough excuse to not show up to a party with Nick. I look over at Hannah and don’t miss her slight frown. I think she might be willing to starve for a cute guy.

“Tyler grabbed a shit ton of pizzas from in town, plenty of food. It’s going to be chill, I promise. A lot of our friends have already headed back home. Pre-season has started at most colleges. Just a few of us are still slumming it up here.” He turns on the boat lights, and the steady purr of the engine makes a rebuttal impossible.

“I love pizza!” Hannah chirps as we make our way to the front of the boat, a giddy smile returning to her face.

I fish my phone out of the seat cushion and find the battery has died. If Hux has tried to get ahold of me, he definitely isn’t happy, but his response earlier was frustrating, reminding me of the “old” Hux that I am in no mood to deal with. If he hadwanted to get a hold of me so badly, he could have called Alex, but he didn’t. So there’s that.

I want to blame this bit of anger and anxiety building in my stomach on Hux and his crap attitude earlier. I am fully aware that spending the whole day and night with someone Hux felt I might have romantic potential with is definitely not helping.

I massage the skin between my thumb and pointer finger. “Does anyone have a phone charger?” I should at least clear up this weirdness between us before it blows up.

“Uh, probably somewhere in one of the thousands of compartments on this boat, but it’s dark as shit back here, and we will be to Tyler’s in ten minutes.” Nick’s right, the sun is starting to set a lot earlier now, and I can already see the first stars beginning to pop out against the purple canvas above.

It’s not hard to pinpoint Tyler’s house when scanning the shoreline. The bonfire, a party staple here, is already roaring. Tyler’s mansion, which, like all the other rich kid places, is referred to as a “camp,” is completely lit up. A long dock with lighted posts stretches out in front with a few boats tied to it. As we approach and I start to count the shadowy figures on the beach, I am ninety-nine percent sure this party will be anything but chill. Sighing, I lose count and give up.Well, at least there will be a phone charger, doubtful on any pizza though.

---