Page 44 of Sadist

“The funeral?” I asked, blinking. “Octavia’s?”

“I thought you were up all night researching,” she said, sounding unamused. “His PR company is having a field day with it. And communication was received the day after the bombing that should William Vanguard die for any reason, automations were in place to release all Triarchy files to the NCA.” She shook her head. “Either way, I lose my Chair, whether it’s to Vanguard or to a criminal investigation.” She shook her head. “Every file we have is encoded with two-step security measures. There is no way he shouldeverhave been able to do what he has done. Even our best hackers can’t get around his software, and it was meant to be an added security measure—” she cut off, her mouth twisting to the side. “I misjudged, Theo.”

She never called me Theo. Nor admitted to any lapses in judgment, and she looked so small and uncertain in that moment that I didn’t know what to do. I raised my glass to her.

“Drink up, I guess.”

She let out a breathy laugh and tilted her glass at me.

“Even the devil has a weakness,” I said. “I just need to find his. And I will, Erryn. I just need time to work out which angle to approach from.”

She hummed, seeming to pull herself out of her moment of vulnerability, and I could almost see when it changed to self-disgust. She got up, draining her glass.

“Your vehicle will be delivered at eight tomorrow. At least attempt to keep this one longer than six months. You are a valuable asset—but not three vehicles in one year valuable.”

“Ouch,” I said, walking her to the door. She turned as she reached it, studying me for a long moment. “You would tell me if you were not up to returning.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. As if reassuring herself that there was still that level of trust between us.

“I’m fine, Erryn,” I said, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “You could have just called, you know?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I needed to have eyes on you,” she said, waving her hand at me in dismissal before turning on her heel and leaving.

16

THEO

Iwaited until surveillance showed Erryn’s car pulling away and the door of the garage safely lowered before I strode to my room and twisted the handle to the vault.

“She’s gon—” I cut off as my eyes fell on the small, curled form of Octavia, pressed against the far back corner of the vault. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking slightly as she murmured something too low for me to hear.

“Hey…” I stepped into the vault with her, pushing past the rack of clothes to the spacious area behind, and dropped to my knees in front of her.

She didn’t acknowledge that she had heard me, her lips moving as she counted to herself.

“What’s going on?” I touched her arm, alarmed at how clammy her skin was.

She exploded as soon as my hand made contact, flinging out her arm and slapping my hand away.

“Don’t touch me!” she snapped, slamming her back against the wall, every breath ragged as she gasped for air.

My eyes caught on the mottled bruises on the inside of her arm where she was pinching herself viciously, and I reached to pull her hand away.

“Don’t—” She shook her head. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Octavia.” I laced every bit of authority I had into the word. “It’s me.” Slowly…watching her closely the entire time, I grasped both her wrists in a firm grip. “Look at me.”

She did, though her pupils were blown wide, her gaze slightly unfocused as she struggled to control her breathing.

“Is h-he gone?” She stumbled over her words, andfuckshe looked so…broken. Every shield that she had held so firmly in place was gone.

“Zichen?” I asked. “He’s dead, Sweets. He can’t hurt you, and he wasn’t here. It was Erryn.”

She shook her head, blinking rapidly. “I can’t—” Her chest heaved. “I can’t breathe.”

“Yes, you can. Stay here with me, not wherever your mind is taking you right now,” I said as gently as I could. I brought her hand up and placed it against the side of my neck, and covered it with my own. “Come back to me,” I murmured.

Her eyes fixed on the spot she touched me, though she was barely holding back the full-blown panic attack she had descended into, and I placed her other hand against my face. The shock of letting her touch me like that seemed to break through whatever hell she was lost in, her eyes tracking the movement of her hand as I slid it slowly along my jaw.

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