Page 101 of Seeing Grayscale

“Ray and Dan are kind of rivals, but not. They both technically work for Xavier, keeping to their respective areas. Dan is the one who…had me beat up.”

“You said it was Raymond.”

“The other time…before.”

Nostrils flaring, I band an arm around his back, pulling him flush against me. I close my eyes,forcingmyself to remain calm while pressing my forehead against his.

I can’t control anything.

I can’t make thisDanperson go away any more than I did Raymond. Alex simply put in an anonymous call, banking on the possibility the man still dabbled in his old ways, and his shitty motel room was raided. All the product got snatched up by the police, and Raymond is currently sitting in a cell.

And then it dawns on me.

You fuck with my investments, I will open the door hiding all those ugly secrets.

“Fuck,” I rasp, clinging to Gray harder. “Fuck!”

The sharp knock on the door has me biting my tongue to keep from screaming.

Perry walks in, and I release Gray. While he reviews the X-ray results, I promptly check out, reliving every decision I’ve made since following Gray out of that gas station.

The entire reason I was even there was to see outside of the box—to determine if thecommunitygave a fuck about politics—cared enough to make a change. Plenty did, but not enough to get to the voting stations, not enough to follow along and see what officials were suitable for the job versus already there.

A broken system is what I discovered.

And I’d been so stressed over the possibility thatIwould have to do something about it. That I’d have to be the person to swoop in and save the day when I can’t even save myself. It all seemed so hopeless, and then I saw him. I could save someone, even though I knew it wasn’t my job or responsibility. Everything about Gray reminded me of what I feel inside, but now I think that’s just what I wanted to see.

He’s so much stronger than I ever could’ve hoped to be. A fierce resilience that’s kept him alive this long, no matter the odds stacked against him, whereas I would’ve crumbled at the first inconvenience.

Everything that’s happening is proof of it.

If he were me, I think he could handle this with a level head on his shoulders. He’d stand up to whoever tried to cross him, daring them to try it. Even if he couldn’t win, even if failure were on the horizon, he wouldn’t back down.

I glance at him as he listens to Perry rattle on and on about his leg. He listens, thumb in his mouth, and those pretty blue eyes bounce back to me. Worried, I’m sure. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this helpless before—this weak. The smart thing would be to do what Alex said. Take him to the shelter, let him go, and allow him to continue bettering himself.

But Gray is the only thing I can count on while everything else falls apart.

And because I’m weak and selfish and overall a piece of shit, I don’t do what is right.

God, I don’t think I’ve ever have.

“What are you going to do?” Gray asks after we leave the office.

His leg healed in record time, and his brace is no longer needed, but Perry advised him to take it easy. I’ve ignored Alex's last three texts demanding I let Gray go and instead focused on what I can control. “Consider his offer,” I say bluntly.

Xavier has yet to give me one, but I told Alex to schedule another meeting this morning. I have too much to lose even to pretend that I have other options. At this point, if Xavier wants OAT, he’ll most likely get it. And with that, comes telling my dad. I’m scared shitless to let him know. But I’d rather keep his reputation intact.

Twisting in his seat, the belt digging into his neck, Gray scowls at me. “Seriously? After what I told you? Hunter, he’s a fucking drug lord!”

“I don’t have another choice.” My voice is tight, mirroring the constriction in my chest. “And without proof, I can do nothing.”

“You have the proof! Me!”

“Physical evidence,” I tell him, getting on the highway. “As it stands now, your word against his wouldn’t hold up very well.”

I hear the mistake the moment it comes out of my mouth.

His face drops. “Because I’m some homeless dude and he wears a suit,” he snips. “Always the fucking suits.” Defiantlyturning his face towards the window, he chews his thumb and leans away from me.

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