Page 147 of Seeing Grayscale

My hand grips my phone tighter as my breaths saw out of me, tears welling further in my eyes. I stare at the picture on the wall, angry that I’m here. Angry that I let myself fall for it. Angry because I still want a different fucking picture. I want the one I drew on his body…in the sketchbook. I want the picture he promised we’d have.

Dropping my eyes back to the phone, I scroll higher up the conversation and find the ones from when we first met.

It’s crazy how much concern was transferred into them. Hunter always asked if I was safe—if I was okay. That at any time, I could call him and he’d come get me. The proof I’m looking for is here in these texts. Hell, it’s everything that’s happened up until the last two days.

He cared until he didn’t. He wanted me until the cost of having me was too much to pay. He showed me what it was like to have someone love me again and then took it away.

I delete the thread.

Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I leave the bathroom and dart across the hall to Abel’s son’s room. I get dressed, put the phone on the charger, and then go downstairs. Abel and Marie are in their living room, cuddled up next to each other on the couch, looking at an ancient photo album. I meander over, chewing my thumb and desperately trying not to sniffle. My nose is still dripping from crying.

“I found it!” Abel beams, beckoning me over.

I don’t know where to sit. Marie decides for me, gently tugging on my wrist so I sit beside her. “That’s a cute nose ring.” She looks at my septum ring. “Do you have any more piercings?”

Nodding, I stick my tongue out, and she giggles. “Jack will be so jealous.”

Abel harrumphs. “And he will stay jealous. Tongue piercings are easily infected. Have you had any abnormal swelling?” The doctor looks at me, and I blush.

“When I first got it done. But I was sixteen and did it myself.”

His eyes round, and then his bushy eyebrows furrow in distress. “Please do not pierce yourself. If you had nicked a vein or your lingual frenulum, you’d have a problem. Not to mention—”

“Shh! Show him the picture.” Marie swats at her husband’s arm.

“It’s alright. I was… Well, I wanted to act out. I promise, I got my septum done by a reasonably professional piercer.”

Abel scowls at the photo album he’s flipping through, mumbling something under his breath, which gets him another swat. “Here it is.”

Marie takes the album and places it between us. One side is on her right thigh, the other on my left. “Oh wow,” I breathe, staring at the Christmas card from when I was aboutnine.

Nine and chubby.

Obviously, my hair was natural, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen it all brown that it comes as a shock. I’m grinning ear to ear with an oversized Santa hat on my head. I’m sitting on my mom’s lap, and my dad has his arm thrown around her shoulders. I look like my dad more now than I did as a kid.

But in this picture I look like my momma.

“Lily was beautiful,” Marie comments, brushing her finger over my mom’s golden hair.

She gave me her eyes, which are a light blue that looks like crystals. My dad’s eyes are dark blue, almost midnight.

“You can have it,” Abel says gently, while Marie is already working on pulling it from the sheer plastic sleeve.

With the glossy cardstock in my hands, I hiccup. My teeth slam into my bottom lip as I stare and stare at my family. My momma and my dad. The people who loved me so much that I’ll never find that love again. The only ones in the world who would’ve never abandoned me had it not been for fuckingdeath.

“It’s alright, Gray.” Marie hands me a tissue. I don’t know where she got it, but I take it with a murmuredthanks.“Do you like banana bread? I was going to nuke a few slices with butter and brown sugar. Banana foster style.”

The hiccup turns into a painful sob. “Yeah. I love banana bread.” I clutch the card to my chest, rub my nose with the tissue, and she rubs my back. “It’s my…favorite.”

It’s inevitable. I don’t know why I’ve tried fighting it for so long. The dam breaks behind my eyes, and I curl into myself, crying with my forehead pressed into my knees.

“Gray,” Abel says after a while, his wife never stopping her gentle caresses on my back. I heave a breath. Then another. When I finally manage to lift my head, his eyes are wet. “I wish I had known what happened to you sooner. Hudson was a friend, and it pains me to know you went without family for this long. I know we only just met, but Marie and I have known you for a long time. Please…stay with us until you can get on your feet. Hudson would’ve done the same for Jack and…”

“I’ll stay,” I croak. “I’ll…stay."

Marie smiles sweetly, taking the tissue from my hand and wiping my tears. “How about that banana bread?”

I nod quickly. “Please. It makes everything better.”

---