Page 160 of Seeing Grayscale

“I’m not so easily triggered. You should know that.” He gives me a pointed look.

I bring our joined hands to my lips and kiss his knuckles. “Just wanted to make sure, baby.”

While I drive us, he tells me about his day, reviewing his coworkers' names and things he likes about the job. Then he rants for the second half of the drive about how sore his legs are from all the squatting. Good thing he won’t be needing them for what I have planned. I'm so pent up when we reach the summer house that I almost don’t let him take a shower.

All day, I’ve daydreamed about the last time we were intimate.

All. Day.

At first, I thought I was being insensitive. Lusting and wanting as bad as I have been, but I see it for what it is. Lust is an extension of my love for him. And it isn’t a bad thing to crave his body just as badly as everything else. Besides, there is no reason to hold back anymore.

We are a couple. Couples fuck.

I swung by Abel’s place before picking Gray up, chatting with my doctor and grabbing the things Gray requested I get for him—an overnight bag, essentially. Yesterday, I went a little nuts and bought him fresh clothes and toiletries for when he stays with me. Gray was a little peeved about it but quickly let it go when I explained he can’t save if he’s spending. I willalways want to take care of him, no matter how independent he becomes.

When he comes out of the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, I suck in a harsh breath. He looksgood—too good. All lithe limbs and subtle muscles. That tattooed left arm and hand glisten with fresh moisture. I wet my lips, taking every inch of him in.

“We are having sex, aren’t we?” he asks. The tone and way he says it rip me out of my lust haze.

I cross the main bedroom space, take his hands, and say as sincerely as possible, “We don’t have to. That’s not what this is.”

“You’ve said that before.” He jokes, but it’s a weak attempt.

“What’s wrong? Am I moving too fast?”

Shaking his head, he places a palm on my chest and takes a breath. “No. I just—what if I’m bad at it, you know? And I’m tired from working and…”

Crooking my finger under his chin, I lift it so he’s looking at me. “We never have to do anything you don’t want to. And I can guarantee you won’t be bad at it, sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you. It’s your fucking birthday and the last thing anyone wants on their birthday is lame sex.”

“You won’t disappoint me.”

He still looks unsure, so I kiss his lips softly. “Come on, let’s go watch a movie.”

I turn to leave, but he grabs my wrist. “Will you show me what to do? To make it feel good for you?”

My body shudders in anticipation. “I will. But it’ll also feel good for you.”

“Do I have to wear the toy?”

“Do you want to?”

He shakes his head. “Not today."

“Tell me what you need.”

Sucking his lip between his teeth, Gray looks at the bed, then back at me. “I just want it to be us. No toys. And…” He blushes. “I want to look at you first.”

A pleased rumble crawls out of my throat as I grab his hips. “You can look as long as you like.”

The cutest, shakiest breath leaves him as he glides his palms over my chest. “Get undressed.”

SIXTY-ONE

AssoonasHunterpulls off his shirt, my dick chubs up.

I’m nervous about this, scared I’ll do it wrong or hurt him. I’m not exactly a small dude and I’ve never fucked anyone before. I was always the personbeingfucked. Trying not to get stuck in that train of thought, I watch his fingers travel to his jeans—the ones he seems to be making a permanent fixture in his wardrobe—and pop the button.

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