Page 94 of Seeing Grayscale

I frown deeply, hating how right he always is.

Since Dan’s minions attacked me, I have been ignoring it all, pretending it didn’t happen. Doctor Perry's examination made me feel all wrong, but I blocked it out. I still have been. I’mhealed, able to do what I need to down there, but I can’t talk about it—don’t fucking want to. The fact he’s bringing it up means he might expect me to.

For four years, I managed to avoid anything of the sort happening to me, I thought I’d live on the streets forever without…that. What a stupid thing to think. My stomach sinks as a rogue sniffle slips free.

“Hey,” he coos, brushing the moisture off my cheeks. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It wouldn’t matter. I’d be fine. Even if…even if you wanted me to bottom.” The words come out, but I can hear the fear in my own voice.

His finger slides under my chin, lifting it so we are eye to eye. “I’d never ask that of you, not because of this, but because I don’t like it.”

“Y-You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

“But you seem so…so…” I gesture at him.

The tiniest smirk forms on his lips. “So what?”

I don’t know how to word it right, so I blurt out the first thing that pops into my head. “Too controlling to submit.”

His eyebrow quirks, surprise on his face. “Just because I like a cock up my ass doesn’t mean I’m submitting.”

Confusion takes hold, mixing with the weird anxiety in my chest. Taking pity on me, he pulls me into his side, wrapping an arm around me and pressing a kiss to my temple. “We don’t have to talk about this,” he mumbles.

“I do,” I huff. “Sowhenwe do more, you’d want me to top?” The idea of it is just as nerve-wracking as everything else. I’ve never done that before. I'll probably suck at it—might be the worst lay he’s ever had. My thumb is in my mouth without hesitation, and I find the microscopic strip of new nail growth with my teeth.

“Why are you so focused on this? It doesn’t have to even go that far, sweetheart. There are other ways to pleasure your partner that don’t involve penetration.”

Flustered, I rip at the nail and blurt out, “Because I have always been at the bottom. Bottom of life. Bottom of society. The bottom ofmen.I didn’t get a say in any of it either. No one allowed me even to consider where I wanted to be. It’s important to me because of how I feel. I’d stay beneath you if that’s what you wanted. If it’d make you happy.”

Hunter takes my spit covered, chewed to fuck thumb, and kisses it. “I don’t want that from you. Never sacrifice yourself for me, Gray.Never.”

“But I would.”

His chest heaves with a heavy breath.

“I’d do whatever I needed to make you keep me,” I admit in a whisper.

His silence should warn me. It should matter to me in this moment, but it doesn’t. I confessed something that I can’t take back. He’s got a front row seat viewing directly into my scarred heart.

All he has to do is reach for it, and it’s his.

FORTY

“Doyoucaretotell me what has been up with you?” Alex asks from his perch on my desk when I walk into my office this morning.

Of all the men I’ve been with, Alex, thankfully, isn’t one of them. He'd be it if I had to pick one person on this planet who could resemble a friend. We aren’tfriendsin a traditional way, but he is my confidante in many areas—along with being the best damn assistant in the state.

With perfectly coiffed blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and thick-framed red glasses, his five-foot-seven frame occupies virtuallyno space in my office. It’s his presence that makes the walls seem closer together.

And that fucking look in his eyes.

Carrying my to-go cup of coffee, I ignore his stare and set my briefcase beside my desk. His entire body swivels to follow me, and when I slump into my chair, scraping my nails over my scalp, he slaps his hands on the wooden desktop.

“You’ve missed countless meetings, are distracted constantly, and don’t think I haven’t noticed how frequently you check your phone. Not to mention that bizarre ‘favor’ you had me do. What. Is. Going. On?” he demands.

My entire body sags while I tuck my chin to my chest and pout like a toddler. “I’m fucking up.”

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