Page 192 of Did They Break You

I cry out as he gets in my face, shoving me against the door. “You look like you got fucked, Remi.”

I swallow down my fear, meeting his dark eyes. “I-I d-didn’t?—”

“I know you’ve been seeing Cortland Adler.”

Cold fear washes over me, the warmth gone. “W-what?”

He smiles, his grip tightening in my hair. “Yes. I’m not as stupid as you seem to think I am, Remi. So why don’t you stop disrespecting me in my own house and tell me what happened to you last night?”

Another tear falls past my lash line, down my cheek. “Silas,” I whisper, “I didn’t… Nothing?—”

He lets go of my hair, grabbing my arm in a bruising grip. “Did you let them fuck you?”

“N-no?—”

“You are nothing but a fucking slut. You’re just like your mother.” He tightens his grip and I wince as he shoves me down to the floor, my knees hitting the tile.

But he comes down with me.

I can’t breathe, my heart pounding painfully in my chest as his hand finds my hip, slipping under the edges of my shirt.

Cortland’s shirt.

I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

It reminds me of last night.

I feel sick all over again, nausea washing over me in volatile waves.

His bare fingers are smooth on my skin, because my stepdad would never get his hands dirty.

Not where anyone but me is concerned.

He brushes his thumb under the hem of my jeans, and I feel dizzy, every movement of his finger against me so loud.

I can feel it. Hear it. Sense it too deeply.

He wouldn’t.

He won’t.

“P-please don’t?—”

“Did you like being used?” he asks me quietly, his eyes on mine as he leans closer, forcing me back, until I’m on my elbows. “Your mother used to enjoy being used, too. For pills and speed and fucking heroin, but maybe you do it for nothing at all.” His body is over mine and his cologne assaults my senses, and it reminds me of them and?—

“Don’t do this,” I blurt out, my words shaky. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to?—”

“If you’re just going to act like your mother, Remi, if you’re just going to let anyone have you, why shouldn’t I?”

Cold fear runs through my body and I’m numb and frozen and I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t…

I stare up at the man who has been a stranger to me my entire life, so close to me now, his hands on me where they shouldn’t be.

I don’t know this man.

I never did.

And in this moment, I wonder if he stuck around after Mom passed just for a moment like this.

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