Page 9 of Shadowbound

“Ah, thank you for sharing that memory with me,” she murmurs and the gem at her temple pulses once more.

Again I am thrust into a memory—into the past.

I see my mother crying as she leaves me at the gates of the Temple. I feel the length of cloth she wrapped around my hand so that she could lead me there without touching my skin and burning herself yet again as she has done over and over in the past.

“Please take care of him! I cannot anymore—I dedicate him to the service of the GodKing,” she tells the priest. Her eyes are swimming with tears as she takes me by the shoulders, being careful not to touch bare skin. “Be a good boy, Alaric. Remember always that I love you.”

I feel my own tears burning down my cheeks. The ache of loss so big it feels like it will gobble me up whole. She’s leaving—leaving me forever! I’ll never see her again! The acolytes accepted to the Temple aren’t allowed to see their loved one for years and years.

“Momma, don’t leave me!” I hear my younger self sobbing. “I’ll be good—I won’t burn you anymore! I promise I won’t!”

And yet she turns away, leaving me there, leaving me forever…

“So sad!” Sylvanna murmurs and I am in the present again.

I look down and see that she isn’t taunting me—her words are sincere. Her dark, lovely eyes still glow with the red Hell-light but they are shiny with tears.

“I feel your pain, Paladin,” she murmurs, looking up at me. “The loss of your mother when you were so young. The feeling that you didn’t belong anywhere. The shame of having burned the one you loved most—that you hurt her merely by existing…”

For a moment, I am speechless. How could she know so much about me? I know, I know—that damned Jewel of Knowing. But it’s almost as if she’s looking into the secret, darkest chamber of my heart. The one I keep hidden, even from myself.

“You…you shouldn’t do that,” I say at last, my voice coming out rough and hoarse. I am fighting the urge to nuzzle my cheek against her hand. Gods, no one has touched me in so long. I forgot what it was like—the brush of skin against skin. Even during my chastisement, the Sisters were careful not to touch my bare body with anything but the lash…

“Why shouldn’t I touch you?” she asks, still stroking my cheek. “You want to be touched. You need to be touched, my Paladin.”

“I need no one,” I say, but my voice isn’t as strong as I wish it to be.

“Everyone needs someone,” she counters. She shakes her head. “If only your people would learn to control their magic, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. The sheer brutality of allowing a child to feel so unloved for so long…”

“We do not practice witchcraft like you NightBorn do!” I say scornfully, but I still can’t bring myself to pull away from her gentle touch.

“No, you just let the magic flow through you—all unconstrained. It’s chaos!” she exclaims.

“We don’t have magic—some of us are touched by the Gods, that’s all,” I protest.

“You haven’t been God-touched, my Paladin. You’re a vessel for the Power of Light…just as I am a vessel for the Power of Shadows,” she says. “That’s why your ‘Celestial Fire’ can’t hurt me—my Shadows cancel it out. We are two sides of the same coin.”

“We are not! We’re nothing alike!” I protest. All my life I have been taught to fear and despise her kind—how dare she say we are the same!

Sylvanna sighs and shakes her head.

“You really don’t see it, do you? Magic doesn’t discriminate—it doesn’t care what you call it. But if you’re chosen to bear it, you must do it right. You must tame it—not let it build inside you until you explode from the inside out!”

She seems to be referencing my Celestial Fire—an explosion is exactly what it is. But I still don’t believe her.

“Fine—don’t believe me,” she says, shaking her head and I know she’s reading my thoughts again. “I suppose I should leave you to your barbaric ways. My shadows will melt in a few moments, freeing you. I suggest you make your way back to Solaris where the Sun reigns eternal, banishing all shadows. Tell your GodKing you couldn’t find The Heart of the Eclipse after all.”

Her voice is starting to fade and she’s moving away from me. But I can’t let her go! I need to find that artifact—and I know she’s the one who has it.

“Wait!” I cry and hate the desperate note I hear in my own voice.

“Yes?” She turns back, her eyes gleaming as she looks at me.

“Please—I cannot return to the Citadel without The Heart,” I tell her.

She frowns and takes a step towards me.

“You think you can use it to destroy my people and remake all of Nocturna, but it doesn’t work that way. Indeed, the prophecy surrounding it is much more nebulous than you know.”

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