Page 55 of Forbidden Sins

“I know.” He swallows hard, taking two steps toward me before stopping himself. “I had to see you, Estella. After what happened at dinner?—”

“If Vito found out?—”

“What will he do to me?” Sebastian’s voice is rough. “What will he do that’s worse than what’s already happened? He doesn’t want me to go with you, Estella. And if your father allows that, if he allows Vito to replace me—” He sucks in a heavy breath, letting it out. “I can’t protect you then. Not at your side. And your father will try to kill me, if he can’t send me to hell with you. He won’t just let me go.”

I’d thought as much at dinner, but hearing it makes it suddenly real. The weight of his words slams into me, and I stare at him, seeing the look in his eyes. There’s a primal glint there, something angry and reckless, and it frightens me.

“Sebastian—”

“If I can’t be your bodyguard, then the only way I could protect you is from a distance. And?—”

“You can’t protect me, no matter what.” I shake my head, looking at him helplessly. “Don’t you see, Sebastian? Even if you come with me, there’s no threat out there that’s worse than Vito himself. He’s going to force himself on me whenever he pleases. Hurt me, probably, if I make him angry—or just if he wants to take out his anger on me. I’ll be his punching bag, his doll to fuck when he pleases, his broodmare?—”

“No.” Sebastian’s hands clench into fists, and he takes two more steps toward me, his eyes glittering. “No. I won’t let that happen. I can’t?—”

“What are you going to do?” I stand up, closing the distance between us so that I’m looking up at him. “What are you going to do about it, Sebastian? We’re both trapped. I have to marry Vito, and you have to let me go.”

“I thought the same thing.” His gaze roves over my face, hungry and desperate. “But I can’t, princess. I fuckingcan’t. I’ve thought a thousand times about how I can’t give you what you deserve, how I can’t give you the life you’re used to, how your father would never let you go with me—but I can’t watch this happen. I swore to protect you, Estella, I made a fucking vow…and Vito will hurt you in unfathomable ways. I can’t let you go through that?—”

The sincerity in his voice, the pleading, the pain—all of it threatens to unravel me completely, to make me sayyes, to give in to what he’s suggesting right now. I don’t want to marry Vito. I don’t want to let him touch me, to let him trap me in the gilded cage that he’s already built. But there’s no future for Sebastian and me, and I can’t allow Sebastian to suffer any more for me.

“If I go with Vito, there’s a chance you could get away,” I whisper. I see his lips part, know he’s about to argue, and I grab Sebastian’s hands, wrapping mine around them as I look up at him pleadingly. “At our engagement party, even. Everyone will be celebrating, and busy, and focused on Vito and me. You could run. Put as much distance between yourself and my father as you can, and maybe he’ll let you go. I can promise him that I’ll be the perfect wife to Vito, play my part, and he’ll let you live. But if you and I run away together—” I suck in a breath, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. “If we tried to do that, Sebastian, there’s no corner of the world where either my father or Vito wouldn’t hunt us down. We can’t do that. You know we can’t.”

“So, what?” Sebastian’s voice is rough as he looks down at me, his fingers curling more tightly around mine. “I break my promise to you, and run? I leave you here, with that monster, and live my life knowing what you’re enduring, Estella. What the woman that I?—”

I go up on my tiptoes, and I kiss him.

I can’t bear to hear him say that he loves me. Not here, not like this, not when nothing can ever come of it. I reach up, grasping the back of his neck, and I kiss him instead, pouring everything that I wish we could both say into the kiss, my mouth warm and soft and pleading against his.

He goes rigid for a moment, hands clenched at his sides… and then his mouth opens against mine, his hands on my waist as he kisses me with every bit of the passion that he kissed me with the first time, out in the gardens with the scent of crushed roses all around us.

One of Sebastian’s hands comes up, his fingers tangling in my hair as his mouth slants over mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth. His arm slides around my waist, pulling me against him, and I feel him harden against me, hear his pained groan as his erection digs into my thigh.

I break the kiss, tasting blood on my lips from where the split in his lip broke open from the force of the kiss. “I’m sorry,” I gasp, glancing down between us. “I’m hurting you?—”

“I don’t fucking care.” His hand fists in my hair, dragging my mouth back to his. “With you in my arms, it still feels so fucking good.”

I taste the copper of his blood on my tongue as he kisses me, a violent, possessive kiss. His tongue sweeps through my mouth again, his hand on my hip, gathering a fistful of the silky material of my dress as he backs me toward the bed.

“He’s not going to be your first,” he growls against my lips. “God fucking help me, princess, he’s not going to be the first maninside of you. I can’t fucking stand it. I want you to know what I feel like, what my cock feels like. I want you to know what it feels like to be fucked by a man who?—”

I kiss him again, stopping him. His hand is under my skirt now, sliding between my thighs, and the ache that washes over me is nearly unbearable. “I want that, too,” I whisper against his lips. “God, Sebastian, I want you.” My mouth grazes over his, my body throbbing with a helpless need as his fingers hook under the edge of my panties, slipping over my silky, damp folds. “Can’t you feel how much I want you?”

He groans, his mouth dragging over the edge of my jaw. “I can, princess,” he murmurs. His fingers dip between my folds, and he moans, nipping at my earlobe. “God, you’re so fucking wet. You’re gonna feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock. But first?—”

Sebastian’s fingers slide up, through the slick pool of my arousal, until his fingertip grazes my clit.

The sensation is so sharp, so startling, that I grab his shoulders with both hands, my head falling back as I let out a cry of pleasure. Sebastian grabs the back of my head with his hand, sealing his mouth over mine to swallow the sound, his finger stilling against my clit.

He pulls back, his hand sliding free, and I let out a pleading whimper, grabbing his wrist. “No, Sebastian. Please?—”

He shakes his head, alarm written over every feature. “If someone heard you—we can’t do this. Fuck, Estella, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He lets go of me, taking a step back, his fingers still wet with my arousal. “I’d be damning us both. What do you think your father would do if he knew I’d taken your virginity?”

“You’d be gone by then?—”

Sebastian stares at me. “You think I could fuck you and then leave you, princess? What the hell kind of man do you think Iam? And even if I did, even if we had our one night and I fucked off, what do you think happens to you if your father finds out? If Vito doesn’t want you any longer?”

“I don’t know?—”

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