Page 61 of Forbidden Sins

I didn’t want them then, and I don’t want to wear them tonight. But I don’t have a choice. To do anything else would be to insult Vito, and anger my father. What would be the point when I’ve come this far?

There’s no escaping it now. I might as well play the game by the rules that I know I’m supposed to follow.

A knock comes at my door, and my heart leaps, some small, traitorous part of me wanting it to be Sebastian. When the door opens and I see my father standing there instead, I feel a wave of mingled relief and disappointment, a sigh escaping my lips as I turn to face him.

“You look beautiful, daughter,” he says, sweeping an appraising glance over me. “All is well?”

I know what he’s asking. He wants to be assured that there won’t be any tricks tonight, no attempts on my part to get out of the engagement, no surprises. I nod, forcing down the emotions that threaten to well up in my throat as I swallow hard.

“Everything is fine,” I manage. “I’m getting engaged tonight. What could possibly be wrong?”

I don’t think either my words or the bright smile that I paste on my face completely fool him. He knows I don’t want to marry Vito. But he must be convinced that I’m not going to fight back, at least, because he nods.

“Very well. I’ll see you downstairs shortly, Estella.”

The door clicks shut behind him, and I turn to look at myself once more. I’m presentable enough. The dress fits me perfectly—the alterations were flawless. My ears and wrist are sparkling with diamond jewelry, my hair is done in thick curls and pulled back at the front with a diamond clip in my hair, and my makeup is soft. I can tell that I’m pale underneath it, but I doubt Vito will notice.

Sebastian would, but if he’s done as I’ve asked, he’ll be gone. My chest cramps at the thought that I might never see him again, that our most recent conversation, outside the car, might be the last one we ever have.

It’s for the best,I tell myself, trying not to think of the way his lips felt on mine. Of how close we came to him being myfirst, giving me everything I wanted that night, right before Vito destroyed it all.

I know Sebastian would say that it’s better this way. Better not to know, maybe. Better than having that moment of connection, that fulfillment of everything we both want, and then losing it again forever.

Taking a deep breath, I slip my high heels on and head for the door.

I can hear the sound of the orchestra below before I even reach the stairs to go down to the ballroom. There have been so many events here the last few weeks that it feels overwhelming, compared to years before when my father would throw a dinner party or some sort of gala two or three times a year. The ballroom is already crowded with guests, the light from the chandeliers shimmering over them as they talk and mingle and laugh and sip champagne.

In less than an hour, probably, I’ll be wearing Vito’s ring. The thought makes me snatch the first glass of champagne I see off a passing tray, my heart beating a nervous patter behind my ribs as I scan the room for Sebastian.

When I see him next to the doors that lead out to the garden, I feel a jolt of happiness, followed by an immediate sinking feeling as I realize that he didn’t do as I asked. If he’s here, right now, then he’s probably not going to leave.

Not unless he’s planning to slip out when Vito makes his speech.

I don’t see Vito at the moment, which is a relief. I walk right past Sebastian toward the other side of the room, my heart still pounding, and a few minutes later, I hear the tread of his boots from behind me. I think I would know his footsteps anywhere, even without looking, even muffled by the orchestra that’s currently playing for all they’re worth.

“Are you alright?”

The sound of his voice nearly undoes me. I clench my champagne glass in my fist, pressing my other hand against my thigh in an effort to keep my hands from trembling.

“I’m fine,” I say quietly, not turning around. “I just needed a moment.”

I feel him shift behind me, close enough that I smell the smoky scent of his cologne. A wash of heat ripples through me, and I feel my breath catch in my throat. I wonder if I’ll ever forget that scent, if I’ll ever not remember what it was like to smell his cologne and skin as the scent of crushed roses wrapped around us, his mouth on mine in the warm, floral darkness.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is low and rough, and I know if I turned around, I would see the same pain in his eyes that I can hear in his voice right now. “Estella?—”

I turn around sharply, my throat so tight that I don’t know how I’ll be able to speak. “What else is there to say, Sebastian? I can’t leave and you can’t stay. Not with me. If you don’t leave tonight, Vito will make you leave when I become his wife. And who knows what happens then?”

“I do.” His jaw tightens. “I have some idea of the things he’ll do to you, Estella. And I can’t?—”

“Whatcanyou do to stop it?” I meet his gaze, and I can hear the helplessness in my voice. “Anything you could try to do ends in bloodshed, Sebastian. That’s the only path if you don’t go.”

He looks at me for a long moment, and I know we’ve been standing here too long. That we have to end this before Vito or my father notices. “Do you want me to leave, Estella?”

I hold his gaze for another beat before I answer. “Yes,” I whisper.

My voice cracks as I say it. I see Sebastian’s eyes darken, but I push past him, heading through the crowd to where I see Vito now, talking to my father with a cut-crystal glass of whiskey in his hand.

Maybe it’s my turn to keep him safe.It’s the only thought running through my head as I lift my chin, walking with purpose toward my soon-to-be fiancé.

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