Page 50 of Zero Chance

Suddenly, I didn’t want there to be a tomorrow.Tomorrow was too humiliating.

Maybe I could be like Zane and just end it now.Then I couldn’t make any more mistakes.I couldn’t trick guys like Keene, embarrass people like Parker and Hope, be awful friends with perfect girls like Xander, or worry my parents anymore like the terrible, fucked-up daughter I was.I could end the cycle tonight.

But that was wrong.

Except itfeltright.

Hot tears slid down my face as the battle inside me heightened.

I didn’t know what to do, so I simply let the pit suck me in deeper.

And this is what it whispered:

You’re not good enough.

No one cares.

They’re all laughing at you.

Why are you even trying?Really?

You’re embarrassing yourself.

It must be humiliating to be you.

Just shut up and sit down already.

Because you know nothing.

You’re fake.

You’re ugly.

You’re pathetic.

Selfish loser.

Your hair is utterly stupid too.

You have no fashion.

No depth.

No personality.

You’re awkward, socially stunted, and unimpressive.

You never get anything right.

Never say anything right.

Failure.Failure.Failure.

Weakfailure.

How do you even hold your head up and keep going?

Just end it now.

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