Page 49 of Meet Me in Tahiti

She waited and found herself bracing for something.

But he didn’t finish the sentences. He shook his head gently instead. “Nah, it’s nothing. Really. Just tired, that’s all.”

She hesitated, searching his face, but she didn’t believe him.

She’d never seen him like this. Something had shifted, but what? He didn’t seem angry. He wasn’t cold. But there was something he wasn’t telling her. She could feel it.

She reached for him, hugged him tightly. “I’m here, Russ. You can talk to me.”

“I know,” he said, holding her close, but she thought he heard sadness in his tone. “Thanks.”

They stood in silence for a moment. She didn’t want to push him. If he had something to tell her, he would. She’d just have to be patient. A few more moments passed; the only sounds, the ocean lapping against the boat and the gentle night breeze. Then he let go of her waist and stepped back.

“We should probably call it a night,” he said, voice low. “Big day tomorrow.”

Tessa’s heart sank. She gazed up at him. “I know… it’s just—there’s not much time left. I want to make the most of the time we have together.”

He offered her a sad smile. “We will. Don’t worry.”

What was going on with him? She searched his eyes one last time. “Are you sure I didn’t do something wrong? Or did someone find out about us?” Her heart picked up its pace. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No,” he blurted. “Nothing like that.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m just tired. I should head out.” He took a few steps back. “Sleep well, Tess. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he turned and disappeared down the stairs, leaving her standing under the moonlight, the soft breeze lifting strands of her hair, the ache in her chest growing.

Russ kepthis steps even as he descended the stairs to his cabin, his heart hammering in his chest. He didn’t look back.

Damage control. That’s what this was. As much as it already pained him. He couldn’t continue to grow this relationship with her. He had to slow it down—big time.

Because the moment he’d read that email, the moment he saw the words, the vision he’d been building in his mind crumbled.

We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.

Tessa. Miami. The life that he wanted.

Gone.

The chance to start over. The chance to finally stop waiting—at thirty-five, no less—for his chance to start over with someone and finally imagine a future of his own. The chance to leave Mia and his past firmly in his rear-view mirror.

How had he staked so much on this one possibility? One such far-flung, miniscule chance?

Because now? He had no plan. No backup. No future he could offer Tessa. Everything was in limbo again. Just when he thought he’d known which direction to head.

Because what else was he supposed to do? Keep pretending like everything was fine? Let her believe this was going somewhere when he didn’t know where he’d be in six months—or a year? When he didn’t know how long it might take him to get a position back in the States?

He didn’t even know if his current position was safe, now that he’d blown it by breaking the charter’s rules against dating passengers, which was the other thing making him slightly sick to his stomach tonight. Had he blown it this week? For himself and his crew?

And even if he could find another job back in Florida—and it could take months longer than he’d thought—how could he expect Tessa to wait for him? Mia hadn’t been able to wait, and he’d dated her foryears. They’d been engaged, for crying out loud.

No, he couldn’t do that to Tessa. Couldn’t give her false hope. Couldn’t give himself false hope.

But he also couldn’t break it off here. Not when she was still on this boat, not when she had two days left in what was supposed to be her dream vacation. Where she’d have to see him twenty-four hours a day. That kind of tension would be horrible—for both of them.

So he’d pull back. Slowly.

Skip the lingering gazes they’d become so accustomed to exchanging. Avoid the captivating conversation across the table but still be friendly with her. Cut their deck time short. Or maybe this should be their last night together on deck?

He sighed. There was no good option here. No right answer.

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