Page 50 of Meet Me in Tahiti

He wanted nothing more than to be close to her. To kiss her. To talk with her until the stars faded into the sunrise, no matter how much time they had left together. To tell her she’d changed things for him, that he thought she might’ve been the one.

But it wouldn’t be fair to her. And it wasn’t smart. He had to think about what was best—for both of them, in the long run.

He flexed his fingers and shut the door to his cabin behind him. Then he collapsed on the bed, eyes closing.

And no, he couldn’t risk this job. Not when his current contract was all he had.

Besides, Jules had seen them this week. Hadn’t she? Maybe.

And Malik. He knew. Russ had come right out andadmitted it, so sure he’d been that his employment options were wide open.

He’d been risking their jobs as well as his own if he was asking them to be loyal friends and keep their mouths shut, and he knew it. Because if this relationship continued, one of them would be forced to report him just so they wouldn’t be fired along with him. That was just how it worked.

If he had a certain future with Tessa, he would’ve told them both to go ahead and report him when this charter was over. He’d have taken the blame for all of it, and they would’ve had nothing to worry about.

But that ship—no pun intended—had sailed. He couldn’t continue to kid himself about a future with a woman he’d known for all of six days. Especially when the woman he’d known and held so close to his heart for so many years—so long ago—could’ve done what she’d done to him.

How could he expect Tessa to wait for him when he had no set date to return to the States? If he’d learned anything about being a boat captain, it was that the women they loved back home didn’t wait around for a man at sea. Life was too short, and loneliness, too hard to bear. He just couldn’t take another woman ditching him for someone close to home while he waited it out here, patiently loyal, for her.

And no, he couldn’t continue to put his crew—or himself—at risk, for something that would never be.

He flipped over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, his heart heavy.

That look on Tessa’s face. The confusion. The hurt. And this was just the beginning.

He hated himself for it.

But was it worse than putting his whole heart into something—into someone—and risk having it torn to shreds in a few months’ time? The way Mia had done to him?

No, this was the only way. Lie low. Protect Tessa from the truth until it wouldn’t hurt her so much. Protect them all from the mess he’d made. Wave goodbye to her on Sunday and pretend they’d never met. And then try to convince himself he’d be fine.

Chapter

Fifteen

Tessa woke earlythe next morning, sunlight streaming through the small porthole of her cabin. She blinked slowly, stretching beneath the sheet until she remembered.

It was her birthday. She was turning thirty today.

It was a milestone. A celebration. But all she could think about was how strange Russ had seemed the night before. Something was different about him. Off. Why hadn’t he wanted to spend more time together on deck? They only had one night left. A frown crept across her face, and she sighed.

A soft knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Come in,” she called.

The door creaked open and in tiptoed Jenna, Marin, and Avery, holding a coffee and a tiny candle stuck in a powdered sugar doughnut.

“Happy Birthday!” they sang in whisper-shouts.

Tessa laughed. “You guys…”

“We figured you’d want a birthday wake-up that didn’t involve an air horn or Nate yelling,” Marin said, placing the coffee and doughnut on the bedside shelf.

“We’ll let you get ready,” Jenna said. “But seriously. Thirty never looked so good.”

They filed out with grins and giggling, and Tessa, smiling now, got up to dress as she sipped the coffee and tasted the doughnut. She pulled on a breezy tank and shorts, tied her hair up, and pulled the shell necklaces from Russ over her head. She gazed at herself in the tiny bathroom’s mirror. They were the perfect thing to wear today. She smiled and took the narrow stairs to the deck.

“Cute necklaces,” said Marin when she reached the top. “Where’d you get them?”

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