Page 50 of The Edge Of Us

"I’m fine," I replied, too fast.

"You’re not. You can’t even look at your own daughter without falling apart. You haven’t bonded with Astrid at all, and that little girl needs her father. Kyle needs you too."

I swallowed hard. "I don’t deserve them."

"That may be," she said. "But you’re still their father. And they deserve you. The real you. Not this ghost."

I couldn’t speak. My throat burned, but no words came out.

"Talk to someone," she pleaded. "Get therapy. You’re not the first man who’s lost something and broke. But you don’t have to stay broken."

I stared down at my hands. They looked older. Tired.

"Do you know where she is?" I whispered.

She hesitated. "No. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. She asked for space. You lost that right when you stopped being her husband."

It stung. But she was right.

Suddenly, a small figure appeared in the doorway. Kyle.

"Daddy?" he asked, stepping in with his big brown eyes blinking up at me. He looked so much like her.

I forced a smile. "Hey, buddy. You having fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"

He nodded and walked over slowly. "Grandma said you’d read to me. The spaceship book."

God. The spaceship book. The one Corinne used to read to him every night. The one he made me read when he first started coming here. I always made up excuses to avoid it.

"Sure," I said softly. "Let’s go."

He took my hand. Small and warm.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch. I opened the worn-out pages and started reading. My voice shook, but Kyle didn’t seem to care. He leaned against me, his head on my chest.

"Do you miss Mommy?" he asked out of nowhere.

I froze.

"Every day," I admitted.

"I miss her too," he whispered. "But I still love you, Daddy. Even if you're sad a lot."

Tears pricked my eyes. I pulled him close.

"I love you too, Kyle. So much."

He snuggled into my arms, and for a moment, the silence didn’t feel so cruel.

But when I went home later that night, the void returned.

And I realized something I should’ve known all along:

I didn’t just lose Corinne.

I lost myself.

Chapter 30

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