Page 37 of Forbidden Desire

“Beth!” I say shrilly, putting my hand up to stifle a laugh.

“I’m just saying, clearly you stayed for a reason. Maybe there are feelings there that you are denying.”

Of course, Beth is happy about me staying, thinking we will somehow end up together and Josie will have a happy little family.

“That’s not why,” I say, trying to sound convincing to my friends and myself.

“Then why?” Sadie asks, putting the champagne down and crossing her arms. I see she’s in protective mama bear mode.

“This paper is all I’ve ever known. I can’t give up on it,” I say.

Sadie looks pensive for a moment.

“At least you still have your column,” she finally says.

“Exactly. And if I stay on, then maybe I can try to keep the glimmer of hope alive forThe NY Daily News.”

“If The Shark will let you.”

“I think he will.”

I go on to tell them what he said to me when I tried to quit, about how he knows how much the paper means to me. Beth looks at me with goo-goo eyes, but Sadie looks unsure.

“Sounds like a smooth talker,” she says, her lips pursed.

“Who cares?” interjects Beth. “Let Erica have some fun. We both know she hasn’t been laid since.”

“Anywaaaay,” I say in a singsong voice, trying to end this conversation. “Who wants mac n’ cheese?”

“Mac cheeeeee,” says Josie, clapping her hands.

We enjoy dinner together at my small dining room table, and the topic of Marco thankfully doesn’t come up again. We talk about work, Sadie’s new, hot client at her accounting firm, and Beth’s upcoming event she’s doing florals for. They ask about the new nanny that’s starting, and I can see they’re wary about it. I feel a little nervous about it too, introducing someone new into my daughter’s life. She’s practically a stranger, but I vetted her. She had stellar recommendations and I grabbed coffee with her lastweek. I think she will be great for Josie. Obviously, the best thing would be for her to be close to me, but that’s impossible.

For a moment, I had entertained the thought of Josie coming to daycare at my work. There is a fantastic onsite facility that most every employee brings their child to. I’ve even snuck a peek or two a few times when I was considering how nice it would be to have Josie nearby for me to come visit during the day. I was impressed by the beautiful, sunlit room with a pastel-painted mural of bunnies and flowers across the walls. It had everything she could possibly need, but I can’t risk taking her there.

The thought of her even being in the same building as Marco scares me. He doesn’t know I have a child, let alonehischild. Most people I worked with at the paper didn’t know or have probably forgotten with how little I talk about her. I’m fiercely protective of her. The coworkers I was close to and had met her are all gone now anyway. Still, bringing her with me to work is too risky. If Marco finds out about her, or even lays eyes on her, he will know.

Chapter 20

Marco

“So, what’s going on with you and that girl from the Conservatory Ball?” asks Jacob over the loud music of the club.

“Who?” I ask innocently, knowing exactly who he’s referring to. The stunner in the strapless dress that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of.

“Oh, come on, Marco. Don’t play dumb. I saw the way you were looking at her.”

I take a sip of my old fashioned and shrug. “It’s nothing,” I say.

“If it’s nothing, then why haven’t I seen you talk to, let alone look at another woman all night?”

“I have a lot on my mind. I did just take over a company, you know.”

“Which is why we are out celebrating,” says Jacob, holding up his drink and smiling at the cocktail waitress who has just brought a new round. He’s been eyeing her all night and I wonder when he’s going to pull the trigger and ask for her number, or for her to come home with him.

“On a Thursday night no less,” I mutter.

I wonder why I let him drag me out tonight. I still have to work tomorrow, and I have a big meeting in the morning with a website developer to completely re-doThe NY Daily Newssite. It’s Jacob though. He can be insistent, and it’s been a while since we have gotten together for drinks.

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