Page 14 of Into the Shadows

I shrug. “I like my job.”

“So do I, but I also need a break now and then.” Noah gives me the dad look he’s perfected over the last seven years. When he found out he was Nellie’s dad, he jumped in with both feet and didn’t look back. It suits him. “Speaking of taking a vacation, would you be up for pet sitting for us? Lilly and I were talking about taking the girls to New York City for a long weekend.”

“I’d be happy to.” They have the cutest cats I’ve ever seen. It’s not a hardship to hang out at their beautiful farmhouse and cuddle the fur babies. “Text me the details when you have them.”

Our food arrives while we’re talking about the classes Nellie’s taking and the subjects she is interested in right now. It changes regularly, but science seems to be her overarching favorite.

Noah and Nellie are explaining their plans for when Nellie graduates when words from the gossip crew begin to filter into my brain.

“Jackie told me someone moved into Old Man Kavanagh's house.”

“Really? Do we know who?”

“Don't have a clue. It seems like the man's a recluse, which is fitting since he moved into the recluse's house.”

“Just because he hasn't come into town doesn't mean he's a recluse.”

Cheryl scoffs. “Of course, it does. Who doesn't want to come into town to socialize?”

They get off on a tangent, arguing about what constitutes socializing and why it is or isn’t okay to socialize with people in town.

If the blood from my face hadn't been draining and I wasn't freaking out about the fact that somebody was in Old Man Kavanagh's house, I would laugh at their bickering.

I do my best to tune back in to Noah and Nellie’s conversation, but all the while my brain is spinning over who could have moved into his house.

If it had been sold to somebody new, I feel like that would’ve been big news in town. Then again, I do my best to stay out of town gossip. Half of it is speculation, and only a fraction is actually true.

It's been four years since I've heard from Teddy. At this point, I'm too scared to find out what happened to him. I can't imagine the mission he told me about has lasted this long, but I don’t know how any of it works, so maybe it has.

The optimistic part of me says he's too busy to email me back, but the more logical part of me knows it’s more likely he isn’t alive anymore to respond.

I haven't let myself dwell on that thought for very long. I have to shove it out of my mind altogether. Otherwise, I’ll end up heartbroken over something I’m not sure is true. It's silly to be sad about the idea of losing somebody I barely even knew, but after emailing with him for so long, I feel like I did.

It took me three years to stop emailing him. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I couldn't stand checking my email multiple times a day only to find no response from him.

The fact that I let it go on for that long is pathetic.

“I think we might have lost her, Baby Bee.”

My eyes jerk back up to Noah, and I shrug sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I got lost in my head there for a minute.”

“That's okay,” Nellie pipes up. “I do that a lot. Mom andDad are always trying to get my attention, and I'm just too busy thinking about things.”

I force myself to focus on our lunch. I love them both to bits, and I’m grateful Lilly brought Nellie into our lives. Spending time with them makes me happy.

Once we've paid and are walking out of the diner, my thoughts stray back to who could have moved into Old Man Kavanagh's house.

Would it be completely insane to drive out there and find out? If only to squash this tiny spark of hope that maybe it's Teddy. The likelihood of that happening is minimal, but I won’t know until I ask.

Maybe if I can prove that Teddy's never coming back, I’ll stand a chance of moving on. I've been hung up on him for so long that the idea of trying to date somebody else is hard to fathom.

But I'm twenty-six. I don't have a whole lot of prospects. Add in the fact that I live in a small town, and my pond shrinks even more.

Cue the Charlotte Lucas monologue from the 2005Pride and Prejudice.

It boils down to this: My choices are limited. If I don't start looking now, my dream of having a family like the one I grew up in will only get further away. If that’s what’s meant to be, then fine. But sabotaging my chances because of a ghost is stupid.

I give Noah and Nellie a big hug and jump in my car. But I can’t make myself drive home.

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