Page 49 of Into the Shadows

She shrugs. “I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me.”

“If you don’t want it, then I accept that. If you don’t think you deserve it, well, you have another think coming.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s thing.”

“Mmm. Pretty sure it’s not. Besides, the way I said it makes more sense.”

Caro starts laughing. “I love you, Lottie.”

“Love you back.”

Chapter 28

To: Charlotte Jackson

From: William Kavanagh

Subject: Unsettled [unsent draft]

Sparkles,

I feel like a caged tiger.

We’ve been on base for a while without being deployed, and it’s unsettling. I keep asking myself if I should get out now while there’s nothing going on. My enlistment period will be up soon. I could go out on my own terms, you know? Wouldn’t that be better?

But then I think about my guys. What if they’re on a mission and I’m not there to help out? What if it goes FUBAR and I could’ve saved them all if I’d been there? Maybe I’ve got a hero complex orsomething. I don’t know.

What I do know is that these guys are my family. This job has been the only constant in my life since I was seventeen. How do I just up and leave?

I can’t, which is why I still haven’t left when I said I was going to three years ago.

The unknowns are scary. Where would I go? What would I do? I don’t have anyone on the outside anymore.

Except for you.

But I can’t let myself count you. I don’t even know what you’re up to anymore. I guess you’d have graduated college by now. Did you settle down? Are you happy?

I hope so because I can’t let myself wonder if I’ve got a chance with you. I don’t, and that’s the end of it.

–T

Chapter 29

Teddy

The rumble of my bike sends a thrill through me. I had it modified right after I got out of the hospital, but I haven’t ridden since then. Lottie’s idea about heading down to Charlotte made me want to give riding another chance.

I slowly drive around my yard, getting a feel for being on the bike again. Everything comes back in seconds, and I take off to the grocery store. I grab what I need before heading over to Lottie’s house. I told her I wanted to take her somewhere this afternoon since the weather was perfect.

The smile that greets me when I pull into her driveway has a matching one growing on my face. She stands from the front step of her two-story cottage and bounds over to where I’ve stopped.

“Have I ever told you how hot you look on your bike?” Lottie fans her face dramatically.

I pull my helmet off my head while I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the laugh that pops out. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You got a helmet for both of us this time?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

I pull one from my saddle bag. “I had a feeling you’d flat-out refuse if I didn’t.”

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