Page 41 of Spoonful

“How can I help?” Hiro asked again. “Jaylin, please… please let me help you. Can you stop contacting him? Do you have a safe place to go?”

Another bitter laugh bubbled out of him. “Hiro, I can’t—he pays for my classes. I can’t just disappear. Besides,” Jaylin added quietly, “he knows where I live.” He couldn't quite bring himself to say,he pays for that too.

Hiro scooted closer to Jaylin on the couch, and held out his hand, an offering. It was the first time Hiro had ever initiated a touch and Jaylin took his hand with shaking fingers.

Hiro wasted no time linking their fingers together, and Jaylin had to bite down the pathetic little sound that threatened to escape at just that simple, gentle touch without motivation. Meant only for comfort. “I understand,” Hiro said. “I do. Youhad something you needed and you figured out a way to get it. There’s no shame in that.”

Jaylin ducked his head, hunching away from the kindness. The understanding. “I wish I could have just done it on my own. My grades in high school were shit, not enough for any scholarships, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t apply for them anyway, or even loans, because I couldn’t figure out how to access them. Those I could find… I couldn’t write the essays they wanted.”

“No one was there to help you,” Hiro said, and he sounded pained.

Jaylin said nothing, because it was true. When some days he’d wanted to cry from the unfairness of it all, from howstupidhe’d felt, he’d had no one.

Then Aditi had introduced him to Hiro, who had changed everything for him. And now Jaylin had Hiro and Aditi and Diego andEl Guanacotoo, and he didn’t want to lose any of it. He didn’t want to lose the new, fragile hope that had bloomed inside of him.

“Okay,” Hiro said, giving Jaylin’s hand a squeeze. “Okay, one thing at a time. When do you have to see him next?”

“This Saturday,” Jaylin said, chest constricting. “He wants… he wants me to spend spring break week with him. But I don’t–I don’t think I–” he cut himself off, holding back the sob, and folded into Hiro’s chest when Hiro gently tugged him forward.

Hiro was so big and warm and comforting, and it was so nice to just beheldthat the sobs threatened to escape. It took Jaylin several long moments to compose himself.

“I don’t think I could make it through a week,” Jaylin was finally able to force out, fingers clinging to Hiro’s soft sweater. It was somehow easier to talk when his cheek was pressed against Hiro’s chest. “He’s… mean. He likes it when I–when I’m unhappy.”

It cut differently, saying it out loud. He hadn’t really let himself come to terms with the fact that Brent was actively, purposefully cruel to him.

Hiro started to gently rub Jaylin’s back, a comfort touch that Jaylin couldn't even remember the last time he’d had. It felt so good that Jaylin melted a little further against Hiro, for all that his insides were twisting with misery. He wished so desperately that he could have Hiro’s soothing touch for any other reason. That he could fully enjoy the delicious warmth of Hiro’s body as Hiro held him, safe and comforting.

“Can you get out of it?” Hiro asked.

Jaylin shook his head.

Hiro’s chest rose and fell as he breathed. “Okay,” he said, sounding determined. “Then we have tonight and tomorrow. We can make it work.”

“Make what work?” Jaylin asked hesitantly. He made himself pull out of the embrace to search Hiro’s face.

Hiro looked like he was ready to take on the world as he slid his phone out of his pocket. “Everything.” And then he suddenly looked uncertain. “If… if you want my help. If you’ll trust me to help you. And please just—just know that nothing,nothingI want to give you is because I’m expecting something back. I just—” Hiro’s expression then was halfway to distraught. “Please let me help you. Please, I just want you to be safe.”

Jaylin wet his lips, that fragile bud of hope inside him unfurling just the slightest bit. He didn’t know what Hiro could even do, but Jaylin trusted that Hiro would do his best to take care of him. “What, um, what did you have in mind?”

***

Jaylin bit his lip and played the group audio message he had dictated into his phone for what he told himself would be the last time.Hi. Uh, it’s Jaylin. Um, feel free to say no but I’mtrying to, um, get out of a bad situation and need to move out of my apartment. Um, tomorrow. No big deal if you’re busy, but any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

He grimaced down at his phone, totally without the brainspace to try to re-record the message without all theum’sanduh’s.He took a deep breath, and pressedsend.

There. That was… that was done. Now he just needed to not think about it—

His phone buzzed in his hand.

Bewildered, Jaylin checked it. It was Carlos, responding to the group text. Oh, that made sense, Jaylin guessed. Carlos seemed like the type to always have his phone in his hand.

The message was:Time??? ADDRESS??

Oh.

Yeah… right.

Nerves made him clumsy as Jaylin dictatedI’ll probably get started around 7am,then added his address.

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