Page 50 of Spoonful

Maybe Jaylin didn't need to wait anymore. Maybe trying to move forward with Hiro wasn't taking something from him at all. Maybe it was giving Hiro something instead. Something Jaylin wanted to give, just because he wanted to.

No expectations. No exchange of goods and services.

Jaylin breathed out, thinking over what he wanted while he was still curled into Hiro. Hiro was always so warm.

His heartbeat was a little quicker than it probably should be.

“Would you want to kiss me?” Jaylin asked quietly, breaking the silence that had settled, comfortable, like a friend. “If I wanted to kiss you?”

Hiro’s heart thudded a little louder under his ear. “Yes.” He didn't hesitate. Didn’t ask why Jaylin was asking either. It was just open admission. “If you wanted it, then…yes. I would.”

Jaylin licked his lips and tilted his head up. “Would you… hold me after?”

“Sweetheart,” Hiro whispered, and Jaylin warmed at the name. “I’d hold you whenever you wanted.”

Jaylin angled a little better and closed the distance.

Hiro kissed him the same way he said Jaylin’s name. Like Jaylin was precious and important. Jaylin used to like a little rougher affection, but he didn't know if he was ready forthat again yet. He liked that Hiro treated him gently, how the sweetness sent zings of pleasure fizzing down his spine.

He made a little noise into Hiro’s mouth and Hiro responded by pulling him closer, his big, warm hands pressing into Jaylin’s back. Holding him, but not gripping too tight. Jaylin wasn’t trapped there. He could stop whenever he wanted and get space whenever he wanted. This wasn’t something desperate and wrung out and filled with shame.

Hiro pulled back first, panting just a little, and he rested his forehead against Jaylin’s. On complete impulse Jaylin kissed Hiro’s nose, then immediately felt embarrassed by it, cheeks heating.

Hiro blinked at him, wide-eyed, before his expression settled into one of quiet delight. He nuzzled at Jaylin’s cheek and Jaylin’s breath hitched as Hiro pressed feather-light kisses underneath his ear and along the side of his jaw.

Then Hiro’s hand cupped Jaylin’s chin, and he pressed one last kiss to Jaylin’s mouth. “Not that I want to stop,” he murmured, “but it’s late. And you’ve got an early class tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jaylin sighed out, knowing Hiro was right. Besides, not only did Jaylin have to get up early, but Hiro did too.

Hiro looked at him, gaze heavy, eyes dark, and kissed Jaylin again, like he couldn't help it. Like he cared for Jaylin that much. “Let me hold you while we sleep?”

Jaylin swallowed. “Please.”

Chapter 13

Jaylin finishedThe Adventures of Captain Hirohito Miyazaki, Explorer of Deep Spacea week after he finished semester finals, because Miguel refused to schedule Jaylin for double-shifts atEl Guanaco.Jaylin had tried to insist that he wasn’t going to do much else with his time, but Carlos had tattled on him about having just finished finals, because “all work and no play made Jaylito astick in the mud.”

Jaylin was able to talk Miguel into a few extra shifts, but it hadn't come close to filling all his newfound free time. Luckily, Jaylin found it easier this time around. He had people to hang out with and interests to pursue.

One of those involved sitting down with his colored pencils again. It helped that Hiro was at work, because Jaylin could draw out in the open.

By the time the comic was done, it wasn't so little anymore. Jaylin had been working on it on and off for almost four months, and it had gotten a full plotline, conveyed as best as he could with the picture speech/thought bubbles. He had put a lot of effort into making a really nice cover, and even had gone back and redrawn some of the original pages, so that there was a more uniform look from the beginning to the end as he’d gotten better at drawing.

He swore Aditi to secrecy, then drafted her into helping him with figuring out how to make it nice. Partially because he could count on Aditi to know what to do or to figure out how to do it, partially because she had resources, and partially because his in-person time with Aditi was dwindling—she’d be leaving in August to go to MIT.

Aditi had been loud about the fact that she refused to let that get in the way of spending time with her local friends, and continually reminded Jaylin that her family lived here so she’d be back all the time. Jaylin wasn’t going to hold his breath, but was also trying to not be obvious with his doubt. He liked Aditi. He really did hope she’d stay in touch. In the meantime, he was going to try to spend time with her over the summer.

Aditi read the entire comic, chewing on the tail of her braid while Jaylin sweated and tried to distract himself by playing with his phone. When she was done, she looked at him and adjusted her glasses. “Doesn’t Diego have an aunt or something that works in publishing?”

Jaylin squinted at her. Aditi and Diego had hit it off during the packing-up of Jaylin’s apartment, and had become fast friends. He didn’t know why she was bringing up his aunt though. “I think so? Or she was a family friend? Why?”

“Well she’d probably be able to help you better than I can,” Aditi said. “Unless you want me to go ask Deepak—”

“No Deepak,” Jaylin said quickly. Deepak, he had learned, was terrible at keeping secrets and had no poker face whatsoever. He’d spill to Hiro in thirty seconds flat.

“Didn’t think so,” Aditi said, looking smug. For some reason. “So let’s ask Diego.”

“But why?” Jaylin asked again. “I thought you could just, I don’t know, help me find a place to bind it nicely.”

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