Page 112 of Emergence and Ascendance

I tensed and pulled away from him, moving to the opposite end of the sofa where I hugged my knees and dropped my chin on them. Alex frowned. "What's wrong?"

"This is my fault."

He jerked a hand down his face. "You didn't block his arteries, shove unhealthy food down his throat, or make him smoke cigars obsessively while polishing off way more alcohol than a man of his fitness level should consume. This is not your fault. He had a heart attack, Scot."

"While arguing with me. The last thing I said to him was it should have been him, not her, and I wished it had been."

"And he said you were just like our mother in a way that made it seem like it was a flaw and not a good thing and it'sdefinitely a good thing, Scot. The alternative is being like him. You and I are both so much better than that."

My chest tightened. No matter how much I hated the man, I didn't truly want him to die. I didn't want that on my heart or my conscience. Like it or not, he was my father. "I could have easily left the company. Honestly I planned to pending how the board voted but this…" I choked on the last word.

"Scot, this is not your fault. No matter what you said to him. This is not your damn fault. Don't you dare carry this like it is, because if you do, I'm going to be so fucking mad that you're letting him hurt you more than he already has. Fuck…" Alex jerked his hand down his face again then moved across the sofa and brushed his thumb under my eyes, wiping my tears. "Elaine heard the two of you arguing. Every damn word, and shit, I'm sorry he talked to you like that. If you wanna be real and place blame, we both made it happen because the minute Elaine called and told me what was happening, the first thought I had was how easy both our lives would be if the son of a bitch dropped dead. But those are just thoughts and words. If you blame yourself, you have to blame me too. However, it won't change shit. Neither of us was the reason his heart stopped, so I mean it, Scot. Don't you fucking dare try to carry this."

I exhaled a shaky breath and nodded. "I'll try not to."

"Nah, fuck that, don't try, you're going to let this go. He doesn't get any more of your tears. Fuck him, Scot. Blood isn't an excuse to treat people like shit. You're not giving him a pass."

I closed my eyes, still feeling overly emotional. Mostly because Alex was right. I was more than justified for hating him. All my life I had never been good enough. I was penalized for being the living, breathing reminder of who my mother was. I had always known he felt that way. Today, hearing him say it out loud, really hurt but what happened still twisted in my stomach and chest.

"He's still our father," I said quietly and Alex sighed, pulling me into his side.

"I hate to even say this but he was right when he said that you were like our mother." I tensed and Alex pulled me in closer. "Stop. What I mean is that man was a fucking nightmare. He was selfish, detached, and devalued how amazing you are, but you still feel something for him. That's our mother, Scot. She gave you that. She gave us that, taught me, you, and Val how to love those who didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve our mother and damn sure not you. You really shouldn't fucking care but I get it and I'm glad you do because it proves you're so much better than him."

"You are too."

"Maybe but I'm still his son."

"And I'm still his daughter, but I'm not like him, Alex, and neither are you. We're both so much better."

He kissed my forehead and pulled away to check his phone when it vibrated with a call. "This is dad's lawyer. I need to take this. You okay?"

"Yeah…"

When Alex got up to leave, I thought about something. "Alex…"

He turned his eyes on me and I frowned. "Did you know about Carlton?"

"Know what?"

"About the arrangement Dad made with him. That he only married me because of it."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Carlton only wanted a second chance because Dad offered him help with his family properties. They had a contract with terms about our marriage. A very detailed one. It's why he filed for divorce after ten years. That was all he committed to."

"Fuck, are you serious?"

I studied my brother's face. "You really didn't know?"

"Hell no, Scot! So you think I would have been okay with that? Do you really think I would have let it happen without telling you if I did know?"

I stared at him, seeing the anger and sincerity. He didn't know and I felt relieved so I shook my head. "No."

"Good, because I didn't, and I'm going to beat the shit out of Carlton the next time I see him."

I smiled. "You don't have to do that."

"And he didn't have to play with your heart. I'm sorry, Scot. I'm really fucking sorry."

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