Page 2 of Emergence and Ascendance

"It's too expensive and out of my budget, but if you love me, you could gift me a case."

I reared my head back. "Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because it's your fault I'm addicted to this shit."

I barked a laugh. "How is it my fault? You booked the trip."

The wine was a special blend from Divine Vines, a vineyard we'd visited in Crescent Falls last year for my birthday. We spent a long weekend, relaxing in one of their cottage suites, enjoyingamazing food, pampering at their spa, and the best wine I ever had in my life. The trip cost more than I knew Tezni could afford as a natural hairstylist but she made it happen because she loved me and it was her way of paying me back for all I do for her, even if I have never-and would never-keep tabs on any of it. I gave from the heart, because I genuinely loved my friend, and the love and support she had given me over the years more than made up for it. I wouldn't have survived my divorce had it not been for her.

"Guilty, but in my defense, I booked the trip because it was the perfect gift and I knew you would love it. My introduction to this wine is therefore your fault."

"Your logic is twisted as hell."

"Mmhm, now back to Erogenous."

I dragged my laptop closer. "Let me order that case for you."

She grinned and shook her head. "Nope, no deflection. Not even for a case of this." She lifted her glass and drank more. "It's thirty days and you gave me your word."

"That was before I knew your crazy ass was trying to turn me into a sex toy."

"That's not what it is."

"That's very much what it is. If I agree, I will be fucked, spanked, and sucked by a stranger in front of strangers and no…" I shook my head. "I'm not doing that."

"Girl, stop. You have a choice in how this happens. That was the purpose of the questionnaire."

"Which you filled out."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I know you better than you know yourself."

"Not if you're trying to get me to do that shit." I narrowed my eyes.

"It's been six months, Scot."

I tensed and glared but her expression softened. "That man played in your face for ten years. He doesn't get to keep holding your happiness hostage."

"He's not," I defended but she kept quiet and just stared at me. My ex-husband had completely demolished my trust when it came to loving someone-trusting them with my mind, body, and soul-and he never laid a finger on me in a harmful way. For ten years, we were married, he loved, supported, and showed up for me in all the ways a husband should. I believed in him, and in us, so much so that when the truth came out about him and his lies, I refused to believe I had been living one with that man.

"He is. You haven't been with anyone since the divorce…"

"I'm not ready."

That was partially true. I wasn't completely ready but I also missed having someone in my life. I was married for a decade. That was all I knew. A man in my home, in my bed, in possession of my heart. One man that I trusted, depended on, and allowed access to the best and worst parts of me. I missed that and craved it again.

"You are. You're just not ready to be open with anyone again."

"Can you blame me?"

She shook her head gently. "No, I can't, but I also know you were happy with him."

"I was living a fucking lie."

"No, he was living a lie. You were a loving, caring wife to a man who didn't deserve you. You weren't the problem, Scot. He was."

"But none of that changes the fact that I wasted all those years with him. I should have known. I'm not doing that again. I refuse to trust someone else with the ability to hurt me like that, and hell, how can I trust another man when I can barely trust myself?"

I should have known…

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