Page 43 of Crossing the Lines for Love

Finding the right word or words to describe my feelings took me a while. He leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest while he waited.

“I’m not sure. Numb might be the word I’m looking for.”

“We’ll talk about it over dinner. Hopefully, your father and I can help you sort through your feelings.”

A few minutes later, the three of us had bowls of beef stew in front of us with slices of cornbread on the side. After I ate my first spoonful, I realized I hadn’t eaten much since the disastrous family dinner.

“This is so good, Ma. Is there enough for me to take home?”

“Of course. Now, tell us why you look like you’ve been crying for a week.”

“Do I? I wore makeup today to try and cover it up.”

“You’re a beautiful girl, and others may not have noticed, but I’m your mother. What happened after we left? I’m sure you and Niko had a lot to talk about.”

“We did.”

“Before you get into that,” my father began. “I’ve been trying to figure out the timeline. Did you know each other when he was our server at Soulful Diner?”

“No, but we collided a day or two before that as I left another restaurant. He was on his phone, not paying attention, and made me drop my food. I said a few choice words, he replaced it, and that was that.”

“That explains why you were acting strange,” Ma said.

“I guess. If you want to know how we got from that to where we are or where we were, I couldn’t tell you. I never believedpeople when they said things just happened until I experienced it.

“I understand, baby girl, but you knew engaging in a relationship with one of your athletes was wrong,” Dad said.

“Every bit of wrong. Niko’s parents had some valid points, and they forced me to look at the big picture.”

“I may not have communicated it well yesterday, but that’s all I wanted to say. You only know me as your father and your mother’s husband, but I’m a man first. Your mother wasn’t the first woman I thought I wanted to be with forever.”

“Watch it, Randall.”

“I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, Marissa. I want her to understand my initial perspective. Randi, men will say and do all the right things when it will benefit them. I know how much you love lacrosse, and I saw how excited you were about the opportunity to coach at the college level. Shocked wouldn’t even describe my thoughts and feelings when I realized you’d taken such a huge risk. At the end of the day, you’ll always be my baby girl. It’s hard for me to think about you loving any other man but me. Do you understand where I was coming from?”

“I do, Daddy. Thank you for your honesty and for making sure I understand your perspective.”

“So, where do you and Niko stand now,” Ma asked.

“I decided to take a step back.”

Overall,I would say I’d lived a good life…great even. Of course, there were some ups and downs, but if I had to rate my life, I’d give it a nine-point five out of ten. However, the past two weeks would be rated in the negatives.

I missed the fuck out of Aranda. Since we decided to pursue a relationship, there were times when we didn’t have the opportunity to be together physically, but the texts, phone calls, and FaceTime calls were constant. I’d gotten used to communicating with her in some form daily.

The sound of her voice, her soft giggle, her sometimes obnoxious laughter, her rants about me and my teammates, her strong views on world issues, and so much more had become a main staple in my daily life. To say I was struggling wouldn’t be enough to describe my inner turmoil.

As if that wasn’t enough, Chanice called me randomly to tell me she wanted to see Deuce. She was his mother, and I didn’t want to deny her, but it had been over four years. I couldn’t help but wonder why she suddenly wanted to see him.

Although I had full primary custody, she did have visitation, which she’d never opted to use. A part of me wished she’d signed her rights over, but at the time, I didn’t think she’d have any interest at all in parenting.

My parents weren’t happy with Chanice’s surprise visit but were very anxious to meet her. We’d decided they would keep Deuce while I picked Chanice up from the airport and take her to dinner. We would then go to my parents’ house for coffee and/or tea and dessert.

I saw her exit the automatic airport doors and look around. She was even more beautiful than when we parted ways. I raised my arm and waved it back and forth until she noticed me. She smiled and headed in my direction, pulling her rolling suitcase.

“Hey!” she greeted with excitement.

We embraced as I responded to her warm greeting. “Wassup? You look great.”

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