Page 65 of Soren

He pressed a kiss to Gabe’s pec, taking a moment to appreciate the human’s shiver. “What happened at work?” Soren asked, wanting to get straight to the point.

“My patient died,” Gabe said simply.

“I see.” Soren didn’t, exactly. Gabe worked in intensive care. He must have seen his fair share of dying patients, even if he was a relatively new doctor. “Were you especially close to them?” Soren asked.

“No.”

Soren hummed. “Okay.”

Gabe took a deep breath, the exaggerated motion lifting Soren’s head with his chest. “A patient died last night too.”

“Did— Did you make some mistakes or something?” Soren pressed. Guilt could be a powerful downer; maybe that was why his human was so put out.

Gabe sighed heavily. “Not really. I did everything I could.”

“I believe that.” Soren did.

“It’s just… I hate it sometimes. Losing those battles. Feeling like I—like I let someone down. Let everybody down. That’s all I do, it seems.”

Soren’s brow furrowed. “You don’t let everybody down.”

“I let Danny down.”

This again? Soren sat up, tilting his head to meet Gabe’s golden-eyed gaze. He grabbed the human’s chin, not willing to let him duck away. “Listen. Yes, you had a bad stretch. You weren’t the best brother in the whole wide world for a time. Big whoop. You were also there for Danny during the worst time in his life, taking care of him when your mom couldn’t. Nobody’s perfect. Why is it that you expect yourself to be?”

“I just— I want…” Gabe didn’t seem to know how to finish that statement.

“You’re being an idiot,” Soren scolded. “Modern medicine can’t save everyone. You’re a doctor, not a magician. And youknow that. I know you know that.”

Gabe made a strangled sound, his chest shaking, and for a horrifying moment, Soren thought he had made him cry. But then Gabe started laughing. “I knew you’d call me an idiot.”

Soren huffed. “I guess I’m not the most sympathetic ear.”

Gabe pulled Soren back into his arms. “No, I like it. I think I need to hear it sometimes. When my brain runs away from me.”

“I can call you an idiot as much as you like,” Soren offered happily.

Gabe kissed the top of his head. “Thank you.”

He wrapped his arms tighter around Soren, pressing him into his muscled chest.

Cuddle slut.

They rested in comfortable silence for a time. “You know,” Gabe said out of the blue, “I never wanted magic to be real.”

“Hm?”

“Even as a kid. I remember Danny reading all those wizard books and going absolutely crazy for those movies about the little hairy-feet guys.”

“Hobbits,” Soren supplied.

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, those. But I never did. I just wanted— I wanted the world to makesense. That felt like enough.”

“You know, losing your dad at that age…having such a pillar in your life taken away when you were young…it’s no wonder you craved stability,” Soren mused.

Gabe shrugged. “Even before that. And it’s not like it affected Danny that way. He lost our dad even younger, and he still accepted the news of vampires existing like it was just any other thing. He didn’t take a fullyearto come to terms with it.”

Was that what Gabe had been doing? Coming to terms with the change in his reality? Did that mean he’d be open to other changes, given enough time? Permanent, “turn you into a vampire” changes?

---