Page 27 of Lucien

“Everyone who’s ever met me has known something was wrong with me,” he stated bluntly. “That something was…lacking. Except you.” Luc knew the expression on his face had turned unbearably soft, but he couldn’t help it. “You who don’t know half the things I’ve done but seem to have forgiven me preemptively for them. You who have no reason to trust me. To believe in me. To meet your family…” Luc shrugged helplessly, his gaze down on his own hands, which had formed into fists on his thighs. “They’d know too. In an instant, they’d know I wasn’t right for someone they love.”

And there it was. More or less all of it. Luc had basically scooped his heart out from his chest and presented it to the human on a platter. Or at least, as best he could in one ten-minute monologue. There were details missing, sure. The sheer number of dead bodies Luc had left in his wake, for one. But Luc knew without knowing how that Jamie cared less about that than he did about thewhy. About what made Luc tick, all the broken pieces underneath the monstrous exterior. Jamie gave open honesty and wanted an equal exchange.

Luc looked up from his hands to see Jamie had lost the toothpick and was standing with an uncharacteristic stillness across the room, a thoughtful expression on his face.

His silence lasted long enough that Luc started to expect condemnation, but when Jamie spoke, his words came out soft and flat, oddly emotionless. “My dad left when I was a kid. He chose a different wife. A different family. He’s got two other sons now, in California. I’m sure he shows up to all their soccer games, like the perfect father. He’s never once called me.”

Luc found his fingers flexing in his lap, almost against his will. They suddenly itched to squeeze the life out of a man he’d never met.

“I knew he was going to go,” Jamie continued in that horribly flat tone. “I saw it in a vision before it ever happened. Even as a kid, I was pissed at him. I still am. But it’shisloss.” Jamie’s voice deepened, harshened. “He’sthe problem. He just…left. He couldn’t be loyal or faithful to us. And that’s not on my mom or me. That’s on him.”

Of course it was. Of that Luc had no doubt, taking in the sight of the young man before him—his face now flushed with righteous indignation, dark eyes shining. Who in their right mind would leave something so perfect?

For Luc, on the other hand…

“In this case, I most definitelywasthe problem,” Luc pointed out dryly. “Seeing as how I tried to murder my friend. More than once.”

Jamie shrugged that off as if Luc had told him he’d once snubbed Roman at a dinner party. “Don’t vampires have different rules or something? Blood and violence seem pretty entwined into your guys’ whole deal, if the stories are to be believed.”

That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Theydidhave different rules. But Luc had taken even that too far. He hadn’t attacked Roman just once in a fit of rage. He’d tried again. And when that had failed, and Roman had run, Luc had followed. His anger had consumed him, his unstoppable rage at that supposed betrayal.

Luc would like to say the monster had taken advantage, convinced him to do all sorts of things he wouldn’t normally stoop to. But it wasLucwho had wanted to punish Roman. To taunt him into some kind of reaction—anyreaction besides that new cold indifference.

He’d left Luc all alone, and he hadn’t even seemed to care.

Luc tried to give his human one last chance to back out. (As if we’d let him go, his monster taunted.) One last word of caution. “I tormented Roman for years because he left me. I haunted him, left a trail of bodies behind me wherever I went. You could say those bodies deserved their fate, more or less. But not all my victims have. Roman’s current mate was turned by my hand, against his will. I’m not disloyal, but Iamvengeful. Vicious. Irredeemable, you might say.”

Jamie stalked closer, the books he’d been stacking left forgotten on the floor. He planted his feet wide just inches from Luc’s seated position.

Always coming closer when he should be moving further away, this human.

“The people you loved left you,” Jamie said, one hand reaching up to cup Luc’s face, ever so gently. “You got mad. I get it. You didn’t handle it well; that’s for sure. But I get it. You want promises of forever. I want the same fucking thing. Can you give me that?”

Luc kept as still as he could, not wanting to make a move that would dislodge that soft touch from his face. “What if I’m too far gone?”

Jamie finally smiled. Hisrealsmile, gorgeous and open and just for Luc. “How about you let me be the judge of that? I think your monster will play nice, if I ask him to. Won’t you, monster?”

Luc was starting to believe that. He could feel his monster fuckingpreeningat the attention from their mate.

“My mom could hate you,” Jamie mused, running his finger along Luc’s stubble. “She won’t, but she could. But that wouldn’t be enough to change my mind. I trust my instincts, my gut. And I’ve known I was yours for years.”

Jamie didn’t mention the bodies. Did he really not care about the bodies?

“I’ll meet her,” Luc promised. “I’ll meet all of them. I’d be honored.”

“You can’t keep disappearing.” Jamie dropped his hand from Luc’s face—Luc found himself leaning forward, reaching subconsciously for that touch—and held it out in front of him, palm up. “Give me your phone.” Luc frantically complied, and Jamie took it from him, tapping at the keys, then dug his own phone out of his pocket as it rang. “There. I have your number now.”

“How else can I make amends?” Luc would do anything his human commanded. He’d pay his penance. Flog or flay himself. Worship at Jamie’s feet.

Jamie looked him over thoughtfully. “No more holding back. You’ll stay close. You’ll touch me.”

Luc immediately grabbed Jamie’s hips with his hands. “Yes.”

“And don’t think I won’t have more questions about that mate thing you said,” Jamie cautioned. “You’ll answer them.”

Luc nodded. “Yes.”

“And I want to be seduced.”

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