Page 69 of Colin

“Fine is… Well, fine is good.” Jay shot a despairing glance to Jamie. “Girl talk is a lot easier with Soren. He just…says things. Colin isn’t saying things.”

Jamie grinned, leaning back against the bedroom door, his legs crossed in front of him. “Yeah, Colin’s a bit tight-lipped, little dude.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here.”

Jay cocked his head, nibbling at his lower lip, looking suddenly uncertain. “Do you not want to have girl talk?”

Faced with Jay’s painful sincerity, Colin sighed and flopped onto the carpet next to him, Jamie quickly following suit, long limbs akimbo. “It’s not that. Okay, it’s—” He cleared his throat, steeling himself. “It’s great. It’s…fantastic, really. It’s what I’ve always been looking for, you know?”

Jay already knew a bit about Colin’s struggle with his sexuality, his theoretical desire for a sexual relationship combined with his disappointment in the reality of it. It was partof how Jay feeding on Colin had started in the first place—as a way for Colin to get a feel for physical desire separate from his overthinking.

Jamie cackled. “Dude. Your face issored right now.”

“Don’t embarrass him!” Jay flapped his hands at Jamie frantically. “I already did that!”

“It’s fine. I just…” Colin felt his cheeks heat even more, if that was possible. “I like them,” he finished helplessly.

God. He felt like he was admitting some deep, dark sin. Only Jay could have pulled that admission out of him, and even then, it was fucking painful.

Jay, whose eyes were shining, the little romantic. “Youlikethem!” he crowed. “And the twins…they like you too?”

“I guess?”

Jamie waved a hand. “Dude. They’re obsessed. You should have seen how protective they got with his ex. Not quite as unhinged as my monster would have been. But still very ‘gr.’” He held up clawed fingers in demonstration. “Very hot.”

“But they’re bonded to each other, right? So they can’t… They’re not trying to turn you, right?”

Colin took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I want them to turn me anyway,” he said firmly, finally saying out loud what he’d barely been admitting to himself.

Jay made a small noise of dismay. “But, Colin! Your humanity. It’s a big decision.” He looked beseechingly at Jamie. “Tell him.”

Jamie shrugged a shoulder. “I think being a vampire is pretty rad, actually. Plus, Colin’s always known his own mind.”

“I know you were happy as a human, Jay. That turning for you was a real loss. But I— I just never have been. I’ve never been content, I’ve always wanted more.” Colin gave Jay a small smile. “Youshowed me more exists. And I want it. I don’t want to be on the sidelines anymore. I want to beinit. I want to see what elseis out there. And I want those dummies with me when I do. If they’ll have me.”

He could picture it almost too easily. Exploring the world with his two shadows at his heels. Having the time and the space and the acceptance to figure out what they all wanted from life, even if all that meant was more time together on the couch, wrapped up in one another for days on end.

He looked up to find Jamie staring at him, his eyes wide with shock. “Dude. That’s the most words I’ve ever heard you string together at one time.”

Jay was nibbling on his lower lip again, peering up at Colin with concern. “But what if theywon’thave you? You’d leave all your human connections behind. It can be very lonely.”

“But Colin’s always been a bit of a loner,” Jamie countered. “No offense.”

“Well, you wouldn’t bealone,” Jay corrected, as if he hadn’t been the one to say it. “You’d have us!” He sat up on his knees in a sudden movement, face full of excitement. “Oh! You’d join our den! We’d take such good care of you. And if you’re unstable in the beginning, we could take you to where Riley is. I know his moms would help you. They’re really lovely.”

That was….well, it was the nicest offer Colin had gotten in a very long time. He had to resist the urge to hug his friend for a third time.

He was going to go into mushy stuff overload at this point. If his dad could only see how extremely social Colin’s future was going to be.

Colin’s stomach sank with sudden realization. “Except…my dad. I’d need to wait. If I turned now, and he needed me down the line…”

Jay grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. “If turning was what you really wanted, we’d take care of him too. He could come withus, if need be. We have a nurse and two doctors. He wouldn’t be alone. We’d figure it out.”

Colin squeezed back, touched beyond measure. “We’ll see.”

For all his brave words about turning whether Fox and Dane wanted him or not…he really wanted them to want him. He wanted them to ask to keep him. He wanted them to need him to stay.

Jay straightened eagerly. “So. Now that all that’s figured out. Tell me how it works with two. I might need some diagrams.” He grinned. “Luckily you’re an artist.”

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