Page 48 of Boyfriend Maintenance

I shake my head. “One, I know you’re good for it. Two, this isn’t a pity thing. Promise.” This seems to calm her a little.

“Then, what is it?”

“It’s more like, I can’t accept it.” She opens her mouth, I’m sure to ask why, but I keep talking, “I broke the rules. Therefore, our deal is null and void.”

She crosses her arms again. “What, the no-fucking-the-residents rule? You’re an ass, Jake.”

I chuckle, “Yes, I know I am.”

Apparently, this pisses her off enough that she turns on her shiny, black heel and starts to walk away. But I reach out just in time and grab her arm.

“Wait, Emmy. Please.” I try not to beg, but I’m nearing the point that I probably need to.

She huffs but turns to face me.

“I saidrules, that was only one of the rules I broke.” I can tell she’s trying to recall them, there were only four: three of mine, one of hers.

“There was a fifth rule, an unspoken one. A rule I had for myself. That was to not fall for the gorgeous brunette who lives in unit fourteen-twelve.” She gives me a sideways look, but her posture relaxes.

“I don’t deserve this check. I don’t want it. It’s not what I want.”

“What is it that you want, Jake?”

“You.” It’s all that needs said. She rolls her eyes, which is not what I was expecting.

“You left after sex. You wrote me a shitty letter.”

“That I did, and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

“Then why haven’t you texted me? Or called me. You’re clearly very skilled at ghosting people.”

“I know, which is why I agreed with you about being an asshole.” I can’t help laughing.

“So, what’s your excuse then?”

“I’ve had a really hard time getting past the fact that on paper, you and I don’t make sense.”

“What paper? There’s no paper, Jake. It’s just me and you.” She doesn’t seem to have much anger left, like she’s lost her steam.

“I know, but the truth is you’ll always be out of my league. You’ll always have money, you were born into it. Even if you choose not to use it, it’s still there. Tucked away safely, waiting for you when you decide to use it. But me, I’ve never had money, and I never will. Sometimes, it feels like I live paycheck to paycheck. I will always be a blue-collar worker.”

She bites her lip while she tries to process everything I’ve laid out for her.

“I thought I was always content and secure in my career path. It always felt like what I was supposed to do. But after a few bad dates and not so wonderful ex-girlfriends, I realized that at some point down the line, I’d probably never make enough money to keep a wife happy, at least not when it comes to stability.”

She puts up a hand to stop my admissions. “Jake, those bad dates, stupid ex-girlfriends, they aren’t me. I walked away from millions so I could live my life the way I wanted to. I told you everything. I told you how money was of little importance to me. And you still didn’t think I could handle you not making a lot of money? I thought you understood me. I know we’ve not known each other a long time, but I thought you knew me better than that.”

It takes everything in me not to hang my head in defeat. And maybe I do, just a little.

Her next words are soft as she steps closer to me. “I’ve always had a hard time knowing if my relationships are real. If it was the draw of money that made them stick around. And, while that’s how it started with us, I thought you and I were more than that. I thought you were the real deal.”

I clear my throat. “Emmy, I want to be the real deal for you. I fought like hell not to fall for you, but damn, I couldn’t fight it.” My arms hang to my side, check still in hand. I lazily lift the check to her and tell her, “I can’t accept this money, because I would never expect any kind of money from the woman I’ve been falling for.”

Her breath hitches.

“I want to be real with you, Emmy, for as long as you will have me.”

I scan her face, her features, looking for any kind of tell that she wants to be mine. Where I just saw hopefulness moments ago, her eyes are now filled with skepticism.

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