Page 29 of The Watcher's Bride

“Nora, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” he asks, his voice filled with hurt.

Shame and disappointment flood me. Why can’t I be normal?

I can’t meet his gaze as I reply. “Nothing, it’s just… I can’t…” I struggle to find the words. I can’t say anything. There’s nothing I can tell him that would make this situation in any way normal. To tell him that I can’t bear being touched, that the thought of being naked in front of another person terrifies me. Tell him what my father did, tell him that the only time I’ve managed to orgasm is when a masked stranger is watching me through my bedroom window.

“Of course, after what happened the other night it’s perfectly normal to be wary of intimacy. I shouldn’t have—” he starts.

“No, god, no. You did nothing wrong, Max,” I insist, cutting him off.

The last thing I want is for him to blame himself for my faults. I wish I could explain it all to him. I do not doubt that he’d be understanding and patient, and try to help me overcome my hang-ups, but I can’t lead him on like that, not when I don’t think I can ever be fixed.

“Nora, talk to me,” he says gently.

“It’s late, I’m tired,” I say, making it clear I want this conversation to be over. I’m not willing to discuss it. “I’ve had too much to drink, so let’s just put it down to that and pretend this never happened.”

“Nora…”

“Please,” I say more harshly than intended, but I need to push him away for his own good. “This was a mistake. Let’s not make this any more uncomfortable than it needs to be. Thank you for the door, for everything, I’ll pay you what I owe you, but I can’t do this anymore. I need you to give me space. Please,” I plead, eyes wide and imploring.

Max hesitates and I know he wants to argue with me, to fight for this tentative bloom we’ve been nurturing that I’ve just trampled on and crushed, but he knows me well enough to realize trying to talk to me now would be pointless. With a sigh, he nods and leaves without a word.

I close the door behind him and finally, I allow myself to break.

I sink to the floor as I sob, crying for the girl I was, for the woman I could be, for the normal life I’ll never have. For the first time in a long time, I feel utterly hopeless and defeated. This is why I don’t try to have a normal relationship. It only ends in heartbreak.

Chapter 17

Leo

As Nora pushes me away, I realize she’s more perfect for me than I ever realized. She too is damaged, perhaps beyond repair. No matter how good for her a man like Max might be, it isn’t Max she needs. He can’t complete her, can’t help her fill in the cracks.

She needs me.

She needs my darkness, craves it. I’ve not watched her from the shadows for a week now. I close my eyes remembering the look of ecstasy on her face as she came, her eyes fixed on mine. God, she’s so fucking perfect. The fact that she pushed Max away shows she realizes she doesn’t need a man like him. Something about that makes me happy. When she kissed me—as Max—it took all I could not to lose control. To kiss her back like I was claiming her, to show her who I really am. While I want to be inside her so badly it hurts, each time she pushes max away it only makes me more certain that it’s me she wants.

I listen to her cries and it kills me I can’t go to her. But she needs to accept who she is and what she needs. Max isn’t enough.

I am.

***

I watch her closely over the next few days. She is so beautifully sad it’s hard for me to remain out of sight, yet I know she needs time. A rush of pleasure runs through me every timeI notice her looking for me, the small frown of disappointment on her face at night when I’m not outside her window. Yet like a good girl, she keeps her curtains open, the window unlocked.

She doesn’t know that I can still enjoy her shows thanks to the security system I installed. Whatever she can see on her phone, I can see on my clone. It’s not as good as being close to her, but it’s pretty damn phenomenal. I need to be patient though. Already Nora is realizing that she craves me, she has to need me, want me.

With Max keeping his distance and Mike dealt with, she relaxes back into her routine, accepting the news of Mike’s resignation easily and with a sigh of relief. As if I’d let him walk back into her life. He’ll not be walking anywhere now. They haven’t found him yet. I could have made him disappear permanently, vanish into thin air like my other enemies. But for a man like Mike, someone would probably miss him and ask questions. They’ll get their answers soon.

Today is Nora’s first late shift since the incident with Mike. I feel confident that she’s ready for me now, ready to accept that it’s me she truly wants, so I test my theory, making a little bit of noise and allowing her to see me at the end of her shift when the library is empty.

Her breath hitches, but she isn’t afraid. “Where did you go?” she asks softly.

“Ya nikogda ne ostavlyal tebya,” I reply.I never left you.

I disappear into the shadows again, but I know when I come for her tonight, she’ll be waiting.

There’s a spring in her step as she walks home. She’s happy I’m back.

She’s so eager for me that she rushes through her usual nighttime routine. I smile to myself as I watch her slip into a new, sexy negligee and get into bed. She hesitates whether or not to turn the light out, and I frown. While it would be a treat to be able to fully see her, I need the darkness for what I have planned. Thankfully, Nora concludes that the night’s embrace is what she needs. It helps her to relax and let go of her inhibitions, to succumb to the dark within us both.

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