Page 184 of Nanny and the Beast

I want to be strong about this, but he really had a hold on me. And even though we weren’t anything to each other, it still feels like a betrayal.

The broken pieces of my heart are still scattered around my feet, and I’m not sure if I want to pick them back up.

“It hurts,” I say. “It all hurts so fucking much.”

Without another word, Mrs. Hendricks wraps her arms around me. She rubs my back in a soothing motion, but it only makes me break more.

“It’s okay,” she says. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I loved him,” I say. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for someone like him, but I fell so fucking hard.”

“We don’t always get to choose who we fall for,” she says, rubbing my back. “It’s one of the travesties of life.”

“It’s not fair,” I say.

“I know it’s not,” she says.

“Are all men the same?” I ask. “Because I really thought that Klaus was different.”

“I’m so sorry, Emma,” she says, holding me like a mother would. She lets me break down in her arms.

After a moment, I pull away and ball my hands over my eyes, trying to hold it in.

“I really thought he felt the same way about me,” I say. “I really thought he loved me back.”

Because if our bond was all in my head, I don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t know if I can ever trust my own judgment again.

“Sometimes we just see what we want to see in a person,” she says.

I see it all before me like a music video. The softness in his eyes when he thought I wasn’t looking. The way he held me in his arms as I fell asleep. I was such a fool to believe that it was love.

Something shuts off inside me.

All the tender parts of me harden, turning into metal.

“I can promise you one thing,” Mrs. Hendricks says. “There areplentyof fish in the sea. And you’re a gorgeous, smart girl with a lot to offer. Not to mention, you have your whole life ahead of you.”

It’s all the typical things people say after you break up with someone. Only, Klaus and I never even had a relationship. He wasn’t my man. I wasn’t his woman.

I was just...convenient.

“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m glad I learned the truth before it was too late.”

“Take the rest of the night off, Emma,” she says. “Go home. Rest.”

“That will only make it worse,” I say. “I’ll just end up spending the whole night mulling over what happened.”

“Are you sure you want to keep working?” she asks.

I nod.

She hugs me again even though I don’t ask for it.

I guess it’s something every woman understands intuitively. It’s something that most women go through at some point in their life, so they know what it’s like.

I was here before, weeping over a misguided love. And here I am again.

“Can I ask you a favor?” I say.

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